Bend Your Reality

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photo credit: Andréia

I had a very odd dream last night.  It’s one I have in a recurring fashion.  Whenever I am trying to sort something out, I have a dream in which I am in an unfamiliar section of town, trying to find a bus or a train to take back home…

Oh, wait!  I just had an epiphany as I was writing the last sentence.  Before I tell you the epiphany, let me tell you the conclusion I always draw from this dream.

Conclusion:  I am subconsciously working on a problem, and the dream represents my desire to solve the problem.

Here’s the epiphany:  The dream isn’t about solving problems subconsciously at all.  It’s about my discomfort with stepping outside of my comfort zone, and my attempts (by catching a bus or a train back home) to get back into familiar territory.  Where it’s safe, secure, and cozy.

That said, I’ve decided that I intend to face head on my fear of being vulnerable, and post my fears so I can break their hold over me.  I expect that I will learn alot about myself; not the least of which i:  I will survive being vulnerable for a few moments.

Here’s my list of things I fear.

1. Being vulnerable.
2. Getting too much attention.
3. Being an entrepreneur.
4. Traveling alone.
5. Speaking my truth.
6. Admitting that, yes, I am a talented massage therapist out loud.
7. Telling people that I am afraid.
8. Allowing myself to care more for my happiness than others (because I have power to create only my happiness).
9. Admitting that I very rarely worry about other people.
10. Being filled with regret in my golden years.
11. Being stuck in a dead end life when I’m 80.
12. Spending the rest of my life alone.
13. Going through my life without making music.
14. Being sensible.
15. Following the rules blindly.
16. Working at the same profession, at the same job for the rest of my life.
17. Being famous.
18. Hiding my light under a bushel to please others.
19. Being swept away in a tsunami of love when falling in love.
20. Living in the same town since I was a child, next door to my family.
21. Moving back home to be with my family of origin.
22. Having my freedom taken away or curtailed.
23. Having people tell me I talk too much.
24. Telling people that it’s not okay to treat me badly.  To their faces.  And taking action to back up that belief.
25. Turning into a facsimile of my mum.

I am most firmly of the opinion that I need to have a project or a challenge launch for this year.   Something that I can do, and others can join in on if they choose to.

I came to this idea from reading Cassandra Rae’s blog.  (You can read about her challenge here.)

What are the things you fear?  Feel free to post them in the comments if you like.  I look forward to solidarity with my fellow fearless leaders.

Vibelicious comments: Be excellent to each other.

Rude, mean comments will be deleted without exception.

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photo credit: r-z

I was over at Summer Plum’s blog having a look around, and generally being as inquisitive as possible.  I happened upon a post called the Rules (have a look if you like).  This got me thinking about all the rules I have followed…that we all have followed.  And I thought, ‘That’s bloody good idea!’  Couldn’t I make up my own rules for living?

Summer’s rules are about happiness.  My rules are about freedom.

Trap me into rigid thinking or situations, and I am guaranteed to run off screaming.

However, Summer has a mantra she uses that goes like this, Be what makes you happy.  I’ve decided to adopt this mantra until I come up with my own guiding mantra because I think it applies to my 2010 adventure; it’s all about freedom, baby.  The big F.

The Stargazer’s Rules of Freedom

1. Speak your truth. No sense in pretending you think, feel, or believe something you don’t.  All that creates is a sour stomach and sour feelings.
2. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Laugh if you wanna laugh.  Or as Chris Cornell sang in Soundgarden’s, Get Off My Wave, cry if you wanna cry.  Amen to that!
3. Make mistakes. Mistakes are not the end of the world; you can survive them and grow!
4. Make space for yourself. It’s not always necessary to fill every moment of your days with activities and people.  Sometimes you need to create space for yourself so you can hear your intuition/inner voice telling you the visions of your soul.
5. Practice gratitude. The operative word here is practice.  You don’t have to do it perfectly every day for the rest of your life.  You simply turn up, and give the best that you’ve got.  Granted, sometimes that will be alot less than you hoped for.  But that’s okay!  Just turning up is most important.  It’s the intent that counts.
6. Release the need to be perfect. Perfection is rather like looking for the Holy Grail; it’s a lifetime quest (as Sir Perceval discovered) Release the need to associate being a good person with being perfect.  It’s possible to be a good person who is in the trenches each day, practicing the business of healing, peace, and love.
7. Live from your spirit. In my experience, my mini-me (my conscious mind) is more interested in conformity, safety and security than in fun, magick and adventure because the latter three look dangerous to it.  However, as a newly minted renegade with a purpose, I understand and believe that a little discomfort can open up doors (and windows) of opportunity that I might have missed if I was “playing it safe.”
8. Embrace your renegade. Live out loud.  Be uncompromisingly you.  And be at peace with the fact that “those who mind, don’t matter; and those who matter, don’t mind.” (I forgot who said this.)  Not everyone is going to get on board with your new intention to be daring, bold, courageous, risk-taking, and wild.  That’s okay!  They can watch from a distance on the sidelines if they prefer.

What are yours?

Vibelicous comments:  Be excellent to each other.

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photo credit: Aitor Escauriaza

I was visiting Havi’s site one day last week, and was introduced to the wonderful concept of the ungratitude list (also known as the Lentil game).  I loved it so much that I decide to create my own ungratitude list and share it with you here.

So here we are.

What is an ungratitude list?  Let me explain.

Simply put you take eight lentils, spoons, or magick beans and move them over from one cup to another when you discover something in the world that doesn’t completely suck!

Enjoy!

1. the scent of rain
2. sunny days
3. blues skies
4. the friendly cat downstairs that walks me home (his name is Tommy)
5. hot miso soup
6. Havi Brooks’ blog
7. giving the middle finger to conformity
8. being different
9. cherry flavoured Life Savers
10. fresh strawberrries
11. Living in SoCal
12. being from Liverpool, England. Oy!
13. the music of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
14. getting to write as much as I like
15. the forum over at Blues Guitar Unleashed
16. the new adventure of learning to play blues guitar better
17. writing this blog
18. having this website
19. sci-fi films from the 50s, 60s, and 70s
20. horror films from the 60s, 70s and 80s
21. Bruce Lee
22. Pam Grier (especially when she appeared in Sugar Hill as a Devil summoning woman seeking revenge for the murder of her fiance
23. jacaranda trees in bloom in late spring
24. playing blues guitar
25. the poetry of Anne Sexton
26. the poetry of Nikki Giovanni
27. the poetry of Alice Walker
28. Aretha Franklin’s voice
29. the music and the harmonies of the Temptations
30. the Motown sound
31. purple orchids
32. the colour purple (the colour not the movie)
33. the Warriors (0ne of the coolest and oddest movies I’ve ever seen)
34. Jimi Hendrix’s music and guitar playing
35. blues music
36. funk music
37. Otis Redding’s voice
38. Janis Joplin’s voice
39. P-funk, pre-Westbound years
40. Shiva Nata
41. having a tongue to taste all of the wonderful food in this world
42. indigo, the colour
43. That 70’s Show
44. Topher Grace, that 70’s Show wouldn’t be the same without him
45. the X-Files, the early years
46. peace of mind
47. fleece blankets
48. massage therapy and bodywork
49. helping people
50. 19 degrees Celsius (weather)
51. hot baths on a cold winter’s night
52. cool breezes on a hot summer’s day/night
53. the first night of the full moon
54. spring time
55. the smell of freshly cut grass
56. the wonderful peppermint cold air scent my Gran had
57. sterling silver jewlery
58. Kurt Cobain’s songwriting
59. Nirvana’s music
60. knowing how to type (even though I went into horrible debt to do so)
61. reading fantasy novels
62. the Harry Potter series
63. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeline L’Engle
64. Where the Things Are (I’ve loved this book since I was a child)
65. hot soup on cold days (ahh!)
66. the velvety texture of fresh raspberries
67. the wild juiciness of blackberries
68. the scent of lemongrass
69. the scent of lavender
70. the sound of wind chimes
71. the percussive sounds of African drums and rhythms
72. the blues
73. the gorgeous spooky voice of Chester Burnett (known to the world as Howlin’ Wolf)
74. the gritty blues of Muddy Waters
75. the shapely and graceful lines of a Fender Jaquar guitar
76. vintage guitars
77. vintage guitar effects pedals

Your turn.  What’s on your Ungratitude List

Vibelicious comments: Be kind.  Be excellent to everyone.  And have fun.

Rude and/or mean comments will be deleted.

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photo credit: Eustaquio Santimano

In my experience, one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do is to see myself as I really and for whom I really am.  I have been visualising myself as my ideal self for so long I actually feel lost without this potent tool guiding me.

This morning while watching an infomercial, promising parents better tools to parent their children; I began to ask myself this question:

• What would happen if I let go of my ideal version of myself, what would my life look like?

• What freedom would I enjoy?

Now I am still in the beginning stages of exploring these questions.  However, I feel that these questions could be the key to freeing myself from limitation.

Why?

Because as long as I am comparing myself to some fictional, yet idealised version of myself, I am not accepting myself as I am and for whom I am.  And that feels awful.  As long as I try to live up to herculean expectations, I remain unaware of what is really important to me and what I really want.

I get to mentally torture myself in fine pointy ways as well.  I draw an odd yet unhealthy comfort in trying to be Ms. Perfect Person, and failing and torturing myself some more.

So, how can we let go of our perfect selves, and embrace who we are?

I have found it helpful to accept my mistakes, my flaws, my quirks in all.  For example, I am not a nice person.  Whatever a nice person is, I know I am as far away from that ideal as it is possible to be on this earth.  If there is a nice person planet all nice people go to when I am sleeping or daydreaming, I know I will never visit this planet.

And the reason is:  I don’t want to be a nice person.  To me, a nice person is someone whom others walk on.  Someone who does what others want whilst ignoring what’s best for themselves.  Nice people usually end up angry and resentful about all that they have done for others and feel bitter than no one saw fit to do the same for them.

Why do I believe this?

I was taught this by my Gran, a woman I love and respect.  She was a nice person.  Always doing her best to help others whilst sacrificing what might be best for her.  An example of this comes from my early childhood.  My Mum was going out with a man who was physically, verbally, and mentally abrusive.  My Gran tried to get on with this man for my Mum’s sake; to be nice.  She even loaned the man money to move into his own flat when his behaviour led him to attack my sister whilst she was holding my baby niece in her arms.

Now being a nice person isn’t a bad thing.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help your friends and loved ones when you feel the need to.  It’s a problem when niceness gets in the way of you being you.  Let me illustrate my point further using the childhood story I shared with you.

What’s authentic to my Gran: seeing to it that my family was safe from a toxic influence (my Mum’s boyfriend).  What’s inauthentic: pretending to like  a person she would cheerfully have run over if he’d been standing in the middle of the road.  I know she would have loved to have done away with the fellow; she told us she had dreams about his death all the time.  And she would be smiling happily when she contemplated the earth without his shadow upon it.

That’s my Gran’s Ms. Perfect Person.  Helping people she didn’t like.

Mine is: feeling like I need to agree with other people’s points of view in order to be liked.  This did not work as well as I would have liked.

Letting Go of the Need to Be Perfect

I know what you all are thinking.  Let go of the need to be perfect?  How the bloody hell do I do that?

Okay.  This is not going to be easy.  Or comfortable.  I need to say that right now.  Some changes that are deeply ingrained in us can be a challenge to relinquish.  This is no exception.  Believe me, I am still trying.

The Tao of letting go is like this:

Step One: Accept that you are not perfect. And probably never will be.  And that’s okay.  The point isn’t to live up to some idealised version of yourself, it’s to explore more deeply who you really are.  Whomever that might be now.

Step Two: Let it be okay that you have made mistakes. You have made mistakes.  So have I.  Let’s all get together and love ourselves anyway.  Mistakes are necessary parts of the growth process that the spirit enjoys experiencing.  You don’t have to like your mistakes.  Or feel positive about them.  Scream, cry, howl at your mistakes.

Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

Dum-de-dum-de-dum…

Great!  Now say this with me:

Mistakes are not the end of the world!  I will survive if I make a mistake.

And you will.  You have made many mistakes in the past and you are still numbered amongst the living.  We can now safely assume that the trend will continue.  Unless, of course, you make the mistake of launching a rocket to the sun with the intention of setting up a colony there.  That might be a costly mistake.

But most other mistakes can be lived down quite nicely without too many scapes and bruises.

What does this have to do with letting go of Mr./Ms.  Perfect Person?

Glad you asked!

When you accept yourself warts, shadows and all, including your mistakes you open up the door (or window, if you prefer) to let go of the need to criticise, judge, or belittle yourself into being your ideal self.  And that leads to loving yourself right where you are.  Not in some distant future when you have achieved perfection.  Cuz that may never happen.

Why wait that long?  Do you intend to live forever?  I don’t.  Whilst I am here I intend to live my life to the fullest with plenty of magick, fun and adventure.

Vibelicious comments:

How about you?  Are you ready to let go of your Mr./Ms. Perfect Person?  If not, what is holding you back?

Remember kind, compassionate comments are always welcome.  Rude, mean comments aren’t and will be deleted.

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photo credit: WTL photos

Whoa…It’s here.  2010.

If I had been told that 2009 would be a great year for me, I wouldn’t be have been surprised at all.

Okay, I would’ve been a little surprised.  2008 was an okay year for me; 2007 was wildly chaotic and I couldn’t wait to see the end of it.

But…2009 was wild in a good way.

The Good Stuff

1. I got a new job working at a massage therapy clinic.  And left my old job in a chiropractor’s office which was draining me.
2. I moved to Santa Monica, California.  Yay, I always wanted to live here.
3. I became certified by the state of California as a massage therapist.
4. I wrote an e-book (not available yet as I am going through the editing process).
5. I entered the National Novel Writing Contest 2009 (didn’t finish, but I managed to write through the 3oth day).
6. I became a ShivaNaut; I am doing Shiva Nata every day.
7. I became a licensed driver.  Hooray!
8. I began a programme to change through changing my handwriting.   Updates to come.
   
9. I finally got a bed to sleep on instead of a futon, an air mattress, the floor, or my massage table.
10. I started this website!  I post every Tuesday and Friday. Hopefully!
11. I learned how to create a website on the WordPress publishing platform.
12. I began Awakening Level 1 in the Holosync meditation programme.
    
13. I lost weight this year; I am now 8.3 stone (roughly about 116 lbs.)
    

The Bad Stuff

I didn’t leave my last job as gracefully as I would have liked.  Instead of telling him the truth; I was burnt out from working very long hours without lunch or a break.  I wanted to make a clean break from him and step into my new job which I had the option of going full-time.

I had to take money out of my savings in order to afford the move into Santa Monica, California.  So now I have to rebuild my savings.  Not from scratch, but I do have to rebuild it.

I chose to let go of some very painful relationships, including that of a once dear friend.  I chose to let go of these relationships because I had grown away from these friends (and, in some cases, family) and being with people whom I had nothing in common with was painfully toxic.

What I Learned

I learned that mistakes are more than okay.  In fact, they are necessary to growing, expanding, and exploring.

I learned to like myself the way I am.  As I am.

I learned that I am not the grudge-holding, critical, judgmental person my mini-me (my conscious mind) has always told me I was.  I am patient, and it takes me longer to get truly annoyed with people and situations than I thought.

I learned I am more open and flexible than I had once thought possible.

What’s All of This Mean?

Through all the bad parts and good parts,  I changed alot.  I grew alot.  I took alot of risks.  I made alot of mistakes.  I use the word alot, alot. At least right here I do.

The point here is:  I was willing to turn up.  Sometimes the results I desired exceeded my expectations.  Sometimes they didn’t; in which case, I tried a new approach and watched the results.

Now you… what was your 2009 like?  Was it a great year for you?  A bad year?  Either way, what did you learn?

Vibelicious comments:  what did you learn from 2009?

Kind and loving comments appreciated.  Rude, mean comments will be deleted no exceptions!

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photo credit: WTL photos

One of the most difficult things to do, in my experience, is to release the idealise version of ourselves that most of us keep stored in our heads.  We can’t help ourselves.  It’s unconscious.  Most of us are completely unaware that we have ideal selves.  We might even imagine that we can’t live our lives without this vision.

This idealised self was created partly by ourselves and partly by our families and friends.  It’s the shining beacon we hold aloft when faced with the dark nights of the soul.  It can be a source of tremendous pain and suffering as well.  Because whilst we are always trying to be this perfect person, we lose sight of who we are and what we want.  It becomes easy to deny or ignore certain inner promptings that tell us we are on the wrong track as long as we choose to live our lives the way a concept of fiction would live.

Did we intend to do this to ourselves?

More than likely not.

Did our family and friends intend to cause us pain by conditioning us to go on a never-ending quest for perfection as daunting as the quest for the holy grail?

More than likely not.  But it doesn’t matter now.

What does matter is what we are going to do about it.  And  I have a suggestion.

Release your ideal self, and come out of the closet about who you are.

Oh, but how do we do that?

Here are a few tips that may help.

Find a quiet place where you can relax.  Bring some paper and a pen. Take some deep breaths.  And write your answers to these questions:

1. Who would you be if you let go of your Mr/Miss Perfect, your ideal self?
2. What would your life be like to live without the expectations of living up to this ideal self?
3. What expectations could you get rid of now?
4. What would your life look like when you are free to be you?

Feel free to write as long as you feel you need to become as clear as possible.

Next, write a list of every criticism you or someone else has ever said to you.  For example,  you never listen.

Take your time and write as many criticism as you would like.  If you wish to stop after ten, trust that insight and stop.

Now burn or tear up that list!  Throw it in the rubbish bin!  That was the old you; the you that chased a mirage all of your life.  It’s time to say hello to the new you; the one that is okay with other people thinking you’re crazy for not trying to live up to some unattainable you.

Is this going to be easy?  No.  You might have to practice letting go every day.  But the wonderful thing is: you don’t have to do this perfectly.  You get to opt-out of the perfection game, and get to know you.  The real you.

Right now, I am on this journey with you.  I have a quiet, obedient self that conforms to other people’s expectations of me.  I learned this from the personality critiques of friends and family just like we all do.

The wonderful thing is:  I now get to opt-out and get on with it.

What about you?  How would you answer that questions above?  If you do answer the questions above, what did you learn about yourself?

Feel free to share your thoughts in the vibelicious comments below.

Vibelicious comments:  be excellent to each other.*

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I am mad as hell and I am not gonna take it anymore!

Bear with me, fellow travelers as I post my first wild angry stuck rant!

I’m writing this post because I’ve noticed that most posts are about escaping from the cubicle. Obviously, these writers all believe that everyone is trying to escape from cubicle nation like Snake Plisken trying to escape from New York. I intend to offer a different perspective on this topic.

It’s Friday afternoon, and I am sitting in front of this computer writing this post while contemplating the long annoying bus ride to work. At which time, I will don a black uniform with the words Massage Envy embroidered on my chest.

I will work from 4pm to 10pm massaging people who desire deeply to receive cheap massages from massage therapists working for a mere $16 per hour base pay plus gratuities (which comes to about $26 per hour; a pay cut came in December 2009).  I will come home aching and knackered, and I will do this again tomorrow and the day after that. Until Tuesday (which is my first day off after five days straight).

Sideways:

Now before some lovely soul writes me a strongly worded reply, let me say this: massage therapy/bodywork is physically demanding work.  Most of the time therapists at massage clinics have to put in long hours to barely make ends meet.  I work with therapists who are worried that if they don’t get massages every day that they will have to look for work elsewhere.  Most of the time their predictions are proven correct.

So let me add this straightaway:  the purpose of this article is to give a voice to those of us working in non-corporate environments, experiencing some of the same soul-shattering procedures that people orbiting in a corporate setting have to tolerate.  In short, I intend to foster solidarity between us worker bees and drones.  We are all in the same boat, us innerpreneurs, solopreneurs, and entrepreneurs in the making.  We want to make a difference in whatever way feel best to us, and make a very prosperous living indeed.

Is this all that there is?

There’s got to more to life than renting my time and my mind to two people who, during our last employee meeting, told us that they were suffering as well. After all, they have to give up their second car, a Humvee. Maybe give up their lavish condo whilst most of us massage therapists are either living with our parents or with roommates. And paying rent with majority of our cheques.

Seriously.

And, oh how I do love employee meetings!

I positively enjoy getting up before the sun so I can have the thrill of listening to the other therapists recycle their complaints from past meetings; and listen to management pretend that they give a damn about us and our grievances.

If this were the truth, things would change. But they don’t.

First of all, I don’t work 9-5. Just because I don’t doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the same feelings a prisoner serving a the first few years of a life sentence would feel. I wear black. I hate black.

Why do all managers, whether they are in corporate america or running a boutique massage therapy clinic, believe that black is so professional looking? All it says to me is: we don’t trust you to express yourself without looking like either a vagrant or a prostitute.

Making a Statement to the World

I wear a uniform. A black uniform. I hate black on principle. And I dislike even more being told what to wear. Telling me what to wear is tantamount to treating me like an addle brained pre-schooler. Obviously, I am too stupid to choose my own wardrobe myself; I need someone to take over for my mum and decided for me. You never know, I may actually leave the house in a purple tutu, brown cowboy boots, and a silver and pink bustier! That would really be making a statement to the world!

They make promises they cannot keep. They tell us how important we are to them, and then hire more therapists despite the fact that they don’t have enough clients for everyone. So now everyone who doesn’t have a session gets to sit around the break room with nothing to do.

We won’t hire anymore therapists; you are so important to us! Two days later, a new therapist appears out of the ether for orientation.

There is a lovely policy flibberdygibbit thingy that tells us what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. Dammit, I could never figure that out for myself! Of course, I may decide to something really interesting. Like think for myself!

In addition to this, there are the lovely signs warning us not to do this or that in the breakroom. With several exclamation points for emphasis. I do so enjoy artwork!

We aren’t allowed to fix the massage therapy rooms in any way we like.  Our regional managers will turn up every once in a while to enforce the rule that each  room must be decorated in the following manner: a massage table with warmer, blanket, bolster; there’s a candle, tissue, hand sanitiser.  On the wall, a clock.  In the corner of the room, a beige ottoman.  No other decorations are allowed.

As you can see, the grievances that I (and the other massage therapists at the clinic I work at) have are rather similar to the once expressed by office workers and other inhabitants of the cubicle world.  When you are employed by someone else, these are the conditions you tolerate.

Now I understand that there are people out there who enjoy working for someone else.  To them I say, more power to you.  However, not everyone receives fulfillment working a job.  I have worked since I was fourteen years old, and I didn’t realise until recently that I am meant to be an entrepreneur.

The Point of All This?

Now I know some of you light chasers out there are probably saying to yourselves, ‘You should be giving thanks for this job that pays your bills, your rent, and your food! If you would just practice more gratitude, you would get some much more out of life!’

Not the point, my lightchasing friends. Point is, that I know there is more to life than spending my days sitting in a tube with wheels going from one building to another with nary an original liberating thought in sight.

I believe I deserve (and anyone else who’s similarly inclined)  more than a job to just pay the bills, the rent, the food. I deserve to have fun, magick and adventure in my life.  As does anyone else who has had the revelation that they are an entrepreneur at heart!

And, before all my light chasing friends out there say, ‘But your job can be fun, magickal, and adventure-filled if only you’d just think more positively.’ Let me say this: That’s not what I want at all.

I don’t want a fun, magickcal, and adventure-filled JOB! I WANT a fun, magickal, and adventure-filled holistic healing centre!

Anyway, I don’t like lightchasing magickal thinkers dancing about me sprinkling positive thoughts and affirmations on me like magickal pixie dust. We’ll have no more of that, thanks!

My challenge? Feeling uncomfortable whilst starting my own massage/bodywork studio, website design business, and doing some coaching/intuitive consulting.

I may not know how I’m going to do this, but I know there is a reward along the way. I get to think for myself, be myself, and help others in ways that make me-and them- feel good as well.

What do you think? Are there any dreamers out there feeling frustrated and stuck?  If you were able to get out, how did you get out?

Vibelicious comments. Be excellent to everyone!*

Being excellent to everyone means being respectful of others and their feelings. Rude, mean comments will be deleted.

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Every once in while I need to remind myself where I am in life when I feel confused.  Or worse.  Just out of control.  (N.O.W. means No Opportunity Wasted.  Go here for more information.)

Questions like:

Am I closer to my passions?  Or farther away? start ringing through my mind.  After all, we are at the end of another year.

For me, this was a year of change, growth, exploration, and discovery.  Sometimes scary.  Sometimes filled with great joy.  But always worth the journey.

Right now, I feel like a butterfly working mightily to escape from its cocoon in spring.

When a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, it’s a weak, shriveled up thing.  The butterfly is unable to fly because its wings are still not completely formed.  As it does the exhausting work of ripping its way out of the chrysalis, it flexes its wings, strengthening them.; making our little friend strong enough to survive in the physical world.  Anyone watching the butterfly during this process may be tempted to help by removing the butterfly.  This would be a fatal for the butterfly. It would die.

At times, I feel like I am dying.  I feel out of control and lost.  It’s all I can do to not be pulled under by life.  In these moments, all those nasty negative recrimination thoughts rise up out of the depths of my subconscious:

“You shouldn’t have spent so much money.”

“Yeah, you’ve been here before.  Doesn’t mean you can get out of this situation this time.”

“You should be safe and secure.  That’s what’s really important.”

I have to remind myself that what’s really important isn’t that I have made mistakes that I now have to dig myself out of.  The important thing is that I know that these situations are temporary, and will change.  Nothing stays the same forever.  I draw comfort from the knowledge that in any moment I can choose a different choice.  This empowers me as well.

Now, what does this have to do with a N.O.W. list?

Good question!

My N.O.W. list reminds me that I have a whole lot of life left to live.  And I can choose in favour of those things that bring me the greatest joy, adventure, and magick into my life.

I think everyone should have a N.O.W. list!

Take a look at mine below.

1.   visit Antarctica

2.   tour the world with my own soul revue

3.   visit Machu Picchu

4.   visit Minonian Crete and the ancient goddess sites

5.   go jet boating & white water rafting in New Zealand

6.   opening my own reiki academy online

7.   touring the world with my own alt. soul band

8.   being a world famous transformational speaker

9. go to the Oneness University in India to be a deeksha giver

10. swim with sharks

11. go skydiving

12. compose & self-produce my debut album

13. visit  Stonehenge

14. learn to snowboard

15. adopt a eurasian baby girl

16. have an animal sanctuary

17. visit the Egyptian pyramids and the Sphinx

18. start a philanthropic organisation devoted to helping people live their dreams

19. tithe 25% or better of my gross monthly income

20.live in New Zealand for a year

21. write and self-publish a book of my own poetry

22. write and self-publish a modern day fable

23. teach workshops and seminars on the law of attraction

24. have a spiritual website a la Hay House Radio

25. have a Hay House Radio programme

26 .have own transformational PBS programme

27. marry husband/soulmate

28. make $150,000 net income from four streams of income in 2009/2010

29.learn to sing an opera aria

30. learn to play the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song catalogue

31. make $1 million in 2013

32. start own online record company and marketing websites for DIY artists

33.speak Korean, Portuguese ( Portugal ), Mandarin Chinese, Italian, Spanish, French, Swedish

34. learn one Shakespearean monologue/soliloquy

35. recite the Raven by Edgar Allen Poe by heart

36. learn to dance the tango

37. learn chinese calligraphy

38. learn to play bass guitar, drums

39. learn to play the piano and keyboards

40. learn to play the Hammond b3 and b6 organs

41. learn to play a twelve string flamenco guitar

42. learn to play flamenco guitar

43. visit Bora Bora and Tongo

44. visit the Taj Majal

45. visit Thailand   to study at Wat Po at Bangkok

46. visit Vietnam

47. continue a four time a week pilates practice

48. dye my hair bright plum

49. forgive the past

50. have a vintage guitar and accessory collection worth over $20 million

51. get a scuba diving license

52. learn to skateboard

53. learn to draw people and objects

54. learn to sail

55. have a one-woman exhibition of my artwork at three or more prestigious art galleries and sell my work for $2,500+

56. write and direct a horror/thriller movie

57. meet Shawn White

58. meet Laura Day

59. meet Barbara Sher

60.  meet Tony Alva

61. meet the Red Hot Chili Peppers

62. meet J.K. Rowling

63. meet Diana Wynne Jones

64. meet Denise Linn

65. P J Harvey

66. be a member of B.B King’s band as his lead guitar player a year

76. meet Deepak Chopra

77. meet the dailai lama

78. meet the “hugging saint” of India

79. learn to write renku

80. a new york times best-selling author of books for child of all ages

81.meet oprah winfrey

82. have full time alternative healing and wellness studio

83. release an indie soul album

84. release a prog/soul concept album

85. meet maya angelou

86. meet toni morrison

87. have dinner at the white house with president barack obama

88. create a vedic garden like Findhorn

89. compose and self-produce my debut album

90. visit Ireland

91. visit Sartorini , Greece

92. study reiki in Japan

93. study zen shiatsu in Japan

94. become a certified reflexologist

95. become a certified thai massage therapist

96. study myofascial release techniques

97. open my own massage, bodywork and pilates studios in Santa Monica and Redondo Beach/Hermosa Beach , CA

98. become the massage therapist to the stars with such celebrity clients as Halle Berry , Brad Pitt , Angeline Jolie , Matt Damon , Ben Affleck , Jennifer Garner to name a few

99. visit Costa Rica

100. meet Quincy Jones

101. meet Stevie Wonder

102. meet Aretha Franklin

103. meet Etta James

104. commit to eating 75% raw food

105. swim with dolphins

This list has been revised several times since it was oringinally written.

This list is by no means comprehensive.  As I grow and change, so does this list.  Often, I delete some things and add others.   Things that were once important to me become less so over time.

And that’s just right with me.  I would grow bored with my life if I (and it) stayed just the same.  What about you?

Vibelicious comments:  what’s on your No Opportunity Wasted list?

Remember to be excellent to each other!

Resources: http://www.noopportunitywasted.com/

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photo credit: BIJI KURIAN

When most people think of massage, they think of calming massages where they’re “rubbed” gently while they just relax.  The common belief is that massage is a “luxury.”  A luxury afforded by the affluent and time-rich people, but not for everyday people.  In short, it’s an indulgence most people would rather avoid, believing they have better things to do with their hard-earned money.

But massage and bodywork can do so much more than take away the tensions of a stressful day, week, or month.    Massage and bodywork can help you recover from a pulled muscle with a shorter recovery time.  It can help improve digestion, circulation, and sleep as well.  More and more, massage and bodywork is being scientifically proven to offer more preventive benefits–from treating an injury to relieving tight muscles.

Massage has been a healing modality for thousands of years in various cultures all over the world.  Touch is an innate and useful tool to aid in pain and healing.  After all, who among us hasn’t stubbed our toe, or pulled a muscle, only to instinctively rub the injured area to make it feel better?

I believe massage and bodywork helps with the integration of body and mind.  In this stress-filled world,  it’s an excellent addition to any wellness regimen.  It’s ideal for good health as well.

Massage and bodywork offers a drug-free, non-invasive, and holistic means of bringing body and mind back into balance.

What is the mind/body balance?

Helping the body do what it knows how to do so well.  Heal itself.

Great Reasons to Get Massage and Bodywork Regularly*

*And by regularly, I mean at least once a month.

1. Improves circulation:  allowing the body to send an increase of oxygen and nutrients to the body’s trillions of cells.
2. Increases flexibility.
3. Relaxes injured and/or stressed muscles, tendons, and ligaments.
4. Increases joint flexibility.
5. Reduces muscle spasms and cramping.
6. Reduces recovery time:  allows the body to recover quickly after a workout from lactic acid build up and/or muscle stress and fatigue due to workout.
7. Improves range of motion: allows the muscles, tendons, and ligaments to be more flexible and decreases pain for people suffering from chronic muscle pain.
8. Releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers,  and is used to help people recover from surgery and injuries to control and relieve pain.
9. Reduces adhesions from injuries and surgeries, helping to break up scar tissue and decrease edema due to inflammation.
10. Increases blood and lymph circulation and improves the overall appearance of the skin.

The Need for Touch

We live in a a society in which touch is lacking.  It’s been proven scientifically that touch has helped premature infants become healthier, insuring their lives (increased weight gain, for example).  It’s being used in nursing homes by caregivers to offer emotional support and comfort.  Massage can offer greater feelings of peacefulness, calm, and well-being which can keep the immune system working at its optimal best.

Everyone could do with a healthy immune system.  Which is why it makes sense, to me, that everyone could invest in a massage at least once a month.

Those of my insights and thoughts.  What are yours?  Do you get massage or bodywork once a month?  If no, what are the obstacles to doing that?  If yes, what benefits are you experiencing?

For vibelicious comments, please remember to be excellent to each other when sharing your thoughts.

Peace & Healing All

Resources for this article: go here

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