the Bend Your Reality Project

photo credit: Andréia

I had a very odd dream last night.  It’s one I have in a recurring fashion.  Whenever I am trying to sort something out, I have a dream in which I am in an unfamiliar section of town, trying to find a bus or a train to take back home…

Oh, wait!  I just had an epiphany as I was writing the last sentence.  Before I tell you the epiphany, let me tell you the conclusion I always draw from this dream.

Conclusion:  I am subconsciously working on a problem, and the dream represents my desire to solve the problem.

Here’s the epiphany:  The dream isn’t about solving problems subconsciously at all.  It’s about my discomfort with stepping outside of my comfort zone, and my attempts (by catching a bus or a train back home) to get back into familiar territory.  Where it’s safe, secure, and cozy.

That said, I’ve decided that I intend to face head on my fear of being vulnerable, and post my fears so I can break their hold over me.  I expect that I will learn alot about myself; not the least of which i:  I will survive being vulnerable for a few moments.

Here’s my list of things I fear.

1. Being vulnerable.
2. Getting too much attention.
3. Being an entrepreneur.
4. Traveling alone.
5. Speaking my truth.
6. Admitting that, yes, I am a talented massage therapist out loud.
7. Telling people that I am afraid.
8. Allowing myself to care more for my happiness than others (because I have power to create only my happiness).
9. Admitting that I very rarely worry about other people.
10. Being filled with regret in my golden years.
11. Being stuck in a dead end life when I’m 80.
12. Spending the rest of my life alone.
13. Going through my life without making music.
14. Being sensible.
15. Following the rules blindly.
16. Working at the same profession, at the same job for the rest of my life.
17. Being famous.
18. Hiding my light under a bushel to please others.
19. Being swept away in a tsunami of love when falling in love.
20. Living in the same town since I was a child, next door to my family.
21. Moving back home to be with my family of origin.
22. Having my freedom taken away or curtailed.
23. Having people tell me I talk too much.
24. Telling people that it’s not okay to treat me badly.  To their faces.  And taking action to back up that belief.
25. Turning into a facsimile of my mum.

I am most firmly of the opinion that I need to have a project or a challenge launch for this year.   Something that I can do, and others can join in on if they choose to.

I came to this idea from reading Cassandra Rae’s blog.  (You can read about her challenge here.)

What are the things you fear?  Feel free to post them in the comments if you like.  I look forward to solidarity with my fellow fearless leaders.

Vibelicious comments: Be excellent to each other.

Rude, mean comments will be deleted without exception.

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photo credit: alicepopkorn

Every once in while I need to remind myself where I am in life when I feel confused.  Or worse.  Just out of control.  (N.O.W. means No Opportunity Wasted.  Go here for more information.)

Questions like:

Am I closer to my passions?  Or farther away? start ringing through my mind.  After all, we are at the end of another year.

For me, this was a year of change, growth, exploration, and discovery.  Sometimes scary.  Sometimes filled with great joy.  But always worth the journey.

Right now, I feel like a butterfly working mightily to escape from its cocoon in spring.

When a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, it’s a weak, shriveled up thing.  The butterfly is unable to fly because its wings are still not completely formed.  As it does the exhausting work of ripping its way out of the chrysalis, it flexes its wings, strengthening them.; making our little friend strong enough to survive in the physical world.  Anyone watching the butterfly during this process may be tempted to help by removing the butterfly.  This would be a fatal for the butterfly. It would die.

At times, I feel like I am dying.  I feel out of control and lost.  It’s all I can do to not be pulled under by life.  In these moments, all those nasty negative recrimination thoughts rise up out of the depths of my subconscious:

“You shouldn’t have spent so much money.”

“Yeah, you’ve been here before.  Doesn’t mean you can get out of this situation this time.”

“You should be safe and secure.  That’s what’s really important.”

I have to remind myself that what’s really important isn’t that I have made mistakes that I now have to dig myself out of.  The important thing is that I know that these situations are temporary, and will change.  Nothing stays the same forever.  I draw comfort from the knowledge that in any moment I can choose a different choice.  This empowers me as well.

Now, what does this have to do with a N.O.W. list?

Good question!

My N.O.W. list reminds me that I have a whole lot of life left to live.  And I can choose in favour of those things that bring me the greatest joy, adventure, and magick into my life.

I think everyone should have a N.O.W. list!

Take a look at mine below.

1.   visit Antarctica

2.   tour the world with my own soul revue

3.   visit Machu Picchu

4.   visit Minonian Crete and the ancient goddess sites

5.   go jet boating & white water rafting in New Zealand

6.   opening my own reiki academy online

7.   touring the world with my own alt. soul band

8.   being a world famous transformational speaker

9. go to the Oneness University in India to be a deeksha giver

10. swim with sharks

11. go skydiving

12. compose & self-produce my debut album

13. visit  Stonehenge

14. learn to snowboard

15. adopt a eurasian baby girl

16. have an animal sanctuary

17. visit the Egyptian pyramids and the Sphinx

18. start a philanthropic organisation devoted to helping people live their dreams

19. tithe 25% or better of my gross monthly income

20.live in New Zealand for a year

21. write and self-publish a book of my own poetry

22. write and self-publish a modern day fable

23. teach workshops and seminars on the law of attraction

24. have a spiritual website a la Hay House Radio

25. have a Hay House Radio programme

26 .have own transformational PBS programme

27. marry husband/soulmate

28. make $150,000 net income from four streams of income in 2009/2010

29.learn to sing an opera aria

30. learn to play the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song catalogue

31. make $1 million in 2013

32. start own online record company and marketing websites for DIY artists

33.speak Korean, Portuguese ( Portugal ), Mandarin Chinese, Italian, Spanish, French, Swedish

34. learn one Shakespearean monologue/soliloquy

35. recite the Raven by Edgar Allen Poe by heart

36. learn to dance the tango

37. learn chinese calligraphy

38. learn to play bass guitar, drums

39. learn to play the piano and keyboards

40. learn to play the Hammond b3 and b6 organs

41. learn to play a twelve string flamenco guitar

42. learn to play flamenco guitar

43. visit Bora Bora and Tongo

44. visit the Taj Majal

45. visit Thailand   to study at Wat Po at Bangkok

46. visit Vietnam

47. continue a four time a week pilates practice

48. dye my hair bright plum

49. forgive the past

50. have a vintage guitar and accessory collection worth over $20 million

51. get a scuba diving license

52. learn to skateboard

53. learn to draw people and objects

54. learn to sail

55. have a one-woman exhibition of my artwork at three or more prestigious art galleries and sell my work for $2,500+

56. write and direct a horror/thriller movie

57. meet Shawn White

58. meet Laura Day

59. meet Barbara Sher

60.  meet Tony Alva

61. meet the Red Hot Chili Peppers

62. meet J.K. Rowling

63. meet Diana Wynne Jones

64. meet Denise Linn

65. P J Harvey

66. be a member of B.B King’s band as his lead guitar player a year

76. meet Deepak Chopra

77. meet the dailai lama

78. meet the “hugging saint” of India

79. learn to write renku

80. a new york times best-selling author of books for child of all ages

81.meet oprah winfrey

82. have full time alternative healing and wellness studio

83. release an indie soul album

84. release a prog/soul concept album

85. meet maya angelou

86. meet toni morrison

87. have dinner at the white house with president barack obama

88. create a vedic garden like Findhorn

89. compose and self-produce my debut album

90. visit Ireland

91. visit Sartorini , Greece

92. study reiki in Japan

93. study zen shiatsu in Japan

94. become a certified reflexologist

95. become a certified thai massage therapist

96. study myofascial release techniques

97. open my own massage, bodywork and pilates studios in Santa Monica and Redondo Beach/Hermosa Beach , CA

98. become the massage therapist to the stars with such celebrity clients as Halle Berry , Brad Pitt , Angeline Jolie , Matt Damon , Ben Affleck , Jennifer Garner to name a few

99. visit Costa Rica

100. meet Quincy Jones

101. meet Stevie Wonder

102. meet Aretha Franklin

103. meet Etta James

104. commit to eating 75% raw food

105. swim with dolphins

This list has been revised several times since it was oringinally written.

This list is by no means comprehensive.  As I grow and change, so does this list.  Often, I delete some things and add others.   Things that were once important to me become less so over time.

And that’s just right with me.  I would grow bored with my life if I (and it) stayed just the same.  What about you?

Vibelicious comments:  what’s on your No Opportunity Wasted list?

Remember to be excellent to each other!

Resources: http://www.noopportunitywasted.com/

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photo credit: BIJI KURIAN

When most people think of massage, they think of calming massages where they’re “rubbed” gently while they just relax.  The common belief is that massage is a “luxury.”  A luxury afforded by the affluent and time-rich people, but not for everyday people.  In short, it’s an indulgence most people would rather avoid, believing they have better things to do with their hard-earned money.

But massage and bodywork can do so much more than take away the tensions of a stressful day, week, or month.    Massage and bodywork can help you recover from a pulled muscle with a shorter recovery time.  It can help improve digestion, circulation, and sleep as well.  More and more, massage and bodywork is being scientifically proven to offer more preventive benefits–from treating an injury to relieving tight muscles.

Massage has been a healing modality for thousands of years in various cultures all over the world.  Touch is an innate and useful tool to aid in pain and healing.  After all, who among us hasn’t stubbed our toe, or pulled a muscle, only to instinctively rub the injured area to make it feel better?

I believe massage and bodywork helps with the integration of body and mind.  In this stress-filled world,  it’s an excellent addition to any wellness regimen.  It’s ideal for good health as well.

Massage and bodywork offers a drug-free, non-invasive, and holistic means of bringing body and mind back into balance.

What is the mind/body balance?

Helping the body do what it knows how to do so well.  Heal itself.

Great Reasons to Get Massage and Bodywork Regularly*

*And by regularly, I mean at least once a month.

1. Improves circulation:  allowing the body to send an increase of oxygen and nutrients to the body’s trillions of cells.
2. Increases flexibility.
3. Relaxes injured and/or stressed muscles, tendons, and ligaments.
4. Increases joint flexibility.
5. Reduces muscle spasms and cramping.
6. Reduces recovery time:  allows the body to recover quickly after a workout from lactic acid build up and/or muscle stress and fatigue due to workout.
7. Improves range of motion: allows the muscles, tendons, and ligaments to be more flexible and decreases pain for people suffering from chronic muscle pain.
8. Releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers,  and is used to help people recover from surgery and injuries to control and relieve pain.
9. Reduces adhesions from injuries and surgeries, helping to break up scar tissue and decrease edema due to inflammation.
10. Increases blood and lymph circulation and improves the overall appearance of the skin.

The Need for Touch

We live in a a society in which touch is lacking.  It’s been proven scientifically that touch has helped premature infants become healthier, insuring their lives (increased weight gain, for example).  It’s being used in nursing homes by caregivers to offer emotional support and comfort.  Massage can offer greater feelings of peacefulness, calm, and well-being which can keep the immune system working at its optimal best.

Everyone could do with a healthy immune system.  Which is why it makes sense, to me, that everyone could invest in a massage at least once a month.

Those of my insights and thoughts.  What are yours?  Do you get massage or bodywork once a month?  If no, what are the obstacles to doing that?  If yes, what benefits are you experiencing?

For vibelicious comments, please remember to be excellent to each other when sharing your thoughts.

Peace & Healing All

Resources for this article: go here

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photo credit: rappensuncle

We’ve all heard the old point of view about bragging: don’t!  More often than not, people view bragging as self-aggrandising.  We are supposed to wait for other people to bestow upon us the labels of: smart, beautiful, genius, creative, or good at something.

Well, bullocks to that! I say.

Why wait for other people to brag about your wonderful qualities?  Why not be your own best fan, and proclaim your gifts and talents to the skies?

No, I’m not suggesting we all become bores who monopolise entire conversations talking about the mundane in our lives in excruciating detail. I am talking about being okay with bragging about the value you bring to others and the world.

What got me started on this line of thinking was an unrelated post by Sparking Firepants (go here).  The post was  about focusing our energies on our right peoplehood.  This led me to an interview with Sara Bray (go here).  Which led me to her website which has a page called Bragging Rights.

Some part of me said,  Damn right! I wish we all could feel comfortable about sharing our gifts with the world, proclaiming our talents and genius; and modelling our superstar selves to the world.

I’m not interested in writing about the ills of society.  What does interest me is proclaiming what I have to offer to the world so my peoplehood can find me.

So what are my bragging rights?

I am an excellent massage therapist/bodworker.  I am great at deep tissue work.  And I am especially good at helping shoulders and backs heal.

My clients come to me for all of my technical knowledge about muscles, bones, and nerves.  They feel they are in very capable hands when they come to me after a shoulder or back injury; they entrust their bodies to me.  This is my superstar superpower.  This is how I spend my magick freaky deakey dust all over the world.

What about you?

What do you hide that you could be accepting bragging rights about?

Share your insights.

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers.

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photo credit: seanmcgrath

As I was riding the bus this morning, lost in thought, I suddenly remembered a picture I had seen once called Snake Eyes (with Nicolas Cage); it’s the oft-told story of a corrupt cop who has a change of heart once he becomes entangled in a conspiracy to commit murder.

I was reminded that, at the end of the film, Cage’s character’s life into ruin despite the fact that he had chosen to do the right thing.

The correlation I made to my own spiritual journey through life was that, more often than not, when we change even a little bit of ourselves our lives usually will look like a mess to us and to everyone around us.

It’s virtually impossible to keep your reality the same while changing yourself. I have made hundreds of futile attempts to do so. All of them have been in vain. No matter how hard we try, we can’t reach for new possibilities and hold on to what we have for dear life.

So what can we do?

Surrender.

I define surrender as remaining present with your feelings and emotions in the present.  Right where you are now.  It is a process, not a destination.  It’s allowing what going on inside you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually to okay without the need to judge whether your feelings, thoughts, actions are socially appropriate to others.

Is this easy?  Of course not.  Surrendering to the present isn’t easy at all.  Each and every day I choose to work on it.  I never surrender perfectly (if such a thing is possible).  And that isn’t important anyway.

What is important is allowing yourself to feel what you feel in the moment regardless of whether or not you, or others around you, like it.

Once you are able to be where you are when you are, you open yourself up to becoming more mindful; with mindfulness comes the ability to let go of things that no longer work, and move forwards towards things that are good for you.

Here are a few tips for surrendering to the now:

1). Get out in to nature. Being able to opt-out of your current reality for even a few minutes a day could help you de-stress enough to think more clearly.

2). Have fun. Every once in a while, step off the treadmill that is reality, and have some fun.  See a funny film.  Have a giggle with friends.  Do something you enjoy for at least ten minutes a day.

3). Be with people you love. If you are going to spend eight hours plus a day with people you really have no connection with, it’s important to balance that with time spent with people you do have a connection with.

4). Don’t take reality or yourself so seriously. This is a difficult one to do consistently.  I admit that I have challenges with this.  Sometimes I am just too angry or hurt to laugh.  Or sometimes I find myself buying into the illusion that I am a helpless victim of life, and must accept what little I get and be grateful for it.  Such perceptions can be grim indeed.  But remembering that nothing is permanent in this world keeps me from sinking into a morass of self-pity.

With the suggestions above, I can go with the flow more.  Be open.  And allow the Creative Force and time to work with me and for me.  Instead of against me.  I have the freedom to surrender, knowing that tomorrow brings with it the opportunity for new choices, new possibilities that did not exist before.  That is something that both and inspires and motivates me to keep trudging forward even when things appear bleak or scary.

How about you?

What changes have you resisted?  And what occurred when you allowed yourself to surrender and “go with the flow?” How do your reality change afterward?

Feel free to share your insights.

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

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It occurred to me yesterday after reading a particularly powerful post by Danielle LaPorte at WhiteHotTruth.com (read it here), that I have always been ashamed by how I want to feel about my visions.  I have mucked-up many a wonderful vision with self destructive stories.  Problem was, I believed these stories.

Okay. Pause.

Here’s a story. Yay!

I am a musician, and my greatest dream was to be a rock star with the tour buses, adoring fans, number one songs, the works.  I want fame and fortune.  And I wanted them larger than life.

Why?

Beacause I wanted to feel special.  Celebrities are treated special; they get gifts when they go to the oscars; people queue up ten deep to take their picture; people ask for the autograph; others hang on to their every word.

My first mistake was reading the new age books that implied that wanting to feel special or be treated special meant that I was an unevolved lemming who obviously doesn’t know what’s truly important.  What’s important is that we are all the same on a spiritual level (sayeth the New Age gurus); and, therefore, we should all strive to be equal (the same) on this plane of existence, too. Anyone who sees themselves as special is clearly a negative influence and should be stoned (okay, I’m making up the last part) for furthering the illusion of isolation and separation.

Whew!

So who wants to be a bad person?  Not me!

Back to the present.  Here’s the fire starting questions that began my current healing journey.

Is it wrong to feel a certain way?  If so, says who?  More to the point, how can I begin to be okay with wanting to feel a certain way and see where that takes me?

Is it wrong to want to feel special? I ask myself.  A better question would be: what would make me feel special?

First of all, when I answer that question, what comes to mind is that 1). people who listen to me because I am an expert, 2). I would be centre stage at events and workshops, 3). I’d be paid very well by clients who value what I do, 4). I’d also have the freedom to do what I love without compromise or apology.

I’m tired of feeling guilty for wanting to feel a certain way.  I want to give myself the freedom to embrace these so-called guilty feelings and desires to see where they lead.  I’ve tried the alternative, and it doesn’t work for me.  It may not be easy to follow this path with heart.  However, I know that if I continue on I can expect to heal, expand, and grow.  Perhaps there is a divine reason.

I’m ready.  How about you?

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

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photo credit: Simon Blackley

It’s amazing looking back from the perspective of someone in the shade of 25. Looking back, I see how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve changed. Not too long ago, I had long braids, wore a green silk scarf over my head, and dressed in California neo-hippie chic while living in Liverpool, England. I remember being deeply involved in the search to find myself, my right people, and my place in the world.

A few years later has made all the difference. I am now a State of California certified massage therapist, specialising in rehabilitative and sports injury massage and bodywork. I am a certified hypnotherapist, a Reiki Master Practitioner/Teacher. From lost and going nowhere quickly to having  almost an entire alphabet after my name.

Dear Sean @ 21;

1. Schools are prisons for the mind. You can learn more on your own by studying what truly interests you.
2. Having money, cars, and a big house doesn’t make you a success. You’re a success when you are doing what you love and making a difference in the world doing it.
3. Learn to value your own good opinion over everyone else’s. Other people will come and go in your life, but you are the one constant. Give yourself the gift of thinking well of yourself.
4.There’s no such thing as destiny. You cre the creator and master of your life. It really is your responsibility. Choose well.
5. Your supposed to make mistakes in order to learn. Don’t be afraid to make lots of mistakes.
6. Don’t bother chasing the money. Trust me. You will be bored; the work will be hard. And you won’t make any money at it anyway.
7. Be honest. Even though others may not always appreciate your honesty, share your truth. Your peoplehood will appreciate it greatly.
8. There isn’t always a rational explanation for everything. Allow life to be a wondrous journey.
9. Meditation is good. Do it your way, darlin’. There’s more to meditation than sitting in the painful Lotus Position while repeating a mantra you’re not certain you’re saying right.
10. Don’t lend out books you love and want to keep.
11. Your soul’s mission is what you say it is. It isn’t written in the sky. Don’t wait for a supernatural force to appear in a halo of light to start defining your purpose. Define it yourself.
12. You are not a morning person, sweetpea. It’s okay to not want to wake up before 9 am.
13. You can make money doing what you love despite what your family has told you.
14. Trust your intuition when it tells you to do something, say something, or go somewhere. It’s usually right.
15. Experiment with your sexuality. Life is too short to lock yourslef into a category that may not suit you. Anyway, you should kiss another woman at least once in your life. Maybe twice.
16. There’s nothing wrong with you. Know that. Despite what your family, friends, or colleagues may have told you. You are a wonderful person; nothing is broken. Nothing needs fixing. If someone tells you differently, ignore them.
17. Don’t believe everything you think. Not every thought you have about yourself is right. As a matter of fact, any thought that makes you feel bad about yourself is a thought you ignore.
18. Don’t believe everything everyone else says either. You can listen if you life, but don’t believe what they say all the time. People have their stories, too. And their stories are as erroneous as yours.
19. Diplomacy is overrated.
20. Just because someone ahs written a book, or has letters after their name does not mean they are an authority. More importantly, the only authority on you and your life is you.
21. Life gets better each and every day…

Believe me.

Peace & Healing

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What if being a failure making mistakes is no reflection on who you are or your chances of succeeding in the future?

What if you knew you couldn’t be a failure?  But you could make a mistake?

How you would you feel?  How would you see yourself?

That is just what I am pondering right now as I right this post.  I used to see myself as a complete and utter failure.  I made so many mistakes that I managed to end up going nowhere at an increased rate of speed.  But I have since learned that making mistakes does not mean that I am stupid, a failure, or a flake.

Let me show you what I have learned.

Please Yourself

I have many well-meaning relatives who worried about my future aloud to each other behind my back.  These discourses got back me to via a well-meaning relative who ‘felt I should know.’  Their worries included, but were not limited to: my lack of a job, my lack of my own flat (this was in Liverpool), my lack of money, my lack of direction, my lack of interest in changing my circumstances, my lack of sanity.  This list is quite bit longer, but I would rather not bore myself or you by going any further.

In any case, as you can see, I had very little going for me at that time.  Which what led me to make the first mistake on this list (there are five, fellow travelers):

Pleasing others.  How did I manage this herculean feat?

I looked in the adverts on day for a job, and saw one offering a administrative assistant position.  Yay, I thought, now I can make money and give money to me long-suffering mum.  And I could stop being her ne’er-do-well daughter who would never leave home.  Ever.

In my visions, I saw myself in a business suit going to work each day and coming home to my grateful mum’s happy smile.  I was sold!  I rang up the contact number only to discover that they expected me to have previous skills and experience.  Really?  You need experience to sit round all day typing, shuffling papers from one side of your desk to the other, and working on challenging looking flow charts?  The woman I spoke to was quite adamant when she told me this.

No experience and skills.  No job.

Okay.  What to do next?

I decided to go back to school to learn to be an administrative assistant.  Still counting that money in my head.  Still visioning my mum’s happy and grateful smile as she looked at me.

School was easy.  I just said what they wanted me to say and do, and I passed with flying colours.  After receiving my diploma, I went looking for a job.  The pay was dreadful.  The offices and staff were miserable, or doing their best impression of cheery to hide their misery.  I took a couple of jobs and promptly quit because I was bored.

The point:  I tried to please others to gain their approval.  But I never pleased myself at all.  That was why I was so bored.

Do What You Are Passionate About

My next adventure takes me into the exciting world of…I don’t know what to call this…writing adverts.

I saw an advert online about a housewife who made several thousands of pounds on the internet writing and placing adverts to promote products.  Affiliate marketing, I think.

I am in no way passionate about writing adverts or placing adverts, but I thought I could make money at this.  After all, the manual that came with the course I purchased said  it was easy .  Just a few hours a day, and poof! Money would roll in great avalanches.

I did it for a few months, and made this discovery.  One, that it was a boring way to make money.  Two, I was not passionate about writing adverts.

And thus I learned another great lesson.  Do what your are passionate about.  There is no point in wasting your time attempting to make money doing things that bore you or that you hate.

Also, I did not make one pound (or dollar or whatever) from the all the hard labour.  Because I was not in love with what I did, the work was hard.

Making A Difference

Next my journey back into the Tunnel of Mistakes takes us to: my adventure in selling colognes on the street.  Call this Adventures in Direct Selling Products No One Wants. My first mistake in this adventure was putting my integrity on the line for a product that I did not believe in.  In fact, the only value the product had for me was using it to cover up nasty odours round the house.  I would not have sold this cologne to people I cared about at all.  I did, however, sell it to my family: so there you go.

During this adventure, I met a well-dressed blonde woman who told me to ’sell products/services I believe in.’  Good suggestion.  I never forgot her wise words.

Eventually, we both decided we did not believe in the products we were selling and left the company.  She left long before I did, because I was convinced I could make money regardless of whether or not I like or believed in the product.

Which led me to ponder her sage wisdom.  I believe a product or service could provide value in a person’s life.  And impact the world.  I believe there has got to be more to living than acquiring money, acquiring material objects, and moving through life at head-spinning rates of speed.

Summary: Knowing What You Value Is Important

Here’s what I value most:

• doing what I love most
• being with people I love and whom love me
• moving at a more relaxed rate of speed through life
• making a difference in the world through synergistic endeavours/visions

Well, those are just a few of the values.  There are probably more.

Viewing mistakes through the perspective of learning takes the pressure off living your life perfectly.  And then feeling the need to judge yourself for your failure desire to learn.

Point is: we are all learning here.  Why define ourselves with such a limiting word?

So ask me if I have failed?

The answer is no.  I have learned alot through these experiences that led me to the life I lead to day and, possibly, tomorrow.

Ponder this: What have you learned from your past mistakes? You may be surprised.

Peace & Healing All

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• The Passion Test

Connecting With Spirit

Just recently, I realised how distant from my spirit I felt.  I felt irritated, blissed out, and just plain restless.  I felt stuck and as raw as an exposed nerve.

What do I do about it I wonder?

The First Step

The first step to reconnecting with my spirit is to become more mindful of what it is I crave.  I crave laughter and fun.

Without further ado, and this is going to be a short post, here is my favourite and most inspiring movie picks.  Of course, these are in no particular order:

1. Last Holiday ~:  Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) finds out she has three weeks to live, and decides to live her remaining time to the fullest.

2. Beauty Shop ~ Gina (Queen Latifah) quits her stressful job as the most popular hair stylist in an upscale Atlanta salon to follow her dream of owning her own salon.

3.  The Matrix ~ Neo, a corporate drone, finds his concept of reality challenged when he connects with a band of rebels able to hack into reality ( a vast computer programme) with the intent of awakening and free the minds of those still trapped within.

4. Wanted ~ a young man living a dull mundane life devoid of purpose joins a mysterious group with superhuman powers and finds

5. Bruce Lee ~ any film starring Bruce Lee fills my heart with joy.  Some of my happiest moments are sitting with my family watching Bruce move with cat-like grace all over the screen.

What Do I Love?

All of these films challenge me to free my mind and listen to my spirit.  If I allow myself to become addicted to desiring approval, I am more likely to make choices that will violate my spirit yet please others around me.

It is easy to seek approval and forget what I love to do.  I could end up blissed out.  And one day, I could also look back on my life with bitterness and regret because I valued most the approval of others.  I lived their life instead of my life.

In fact, I read the story of a woman who had stage 4 cancer who had very little time left to live.  She was feeling regretful and wished to die with a sense of peace.  What could she do?

Her spiritual adviser suggested that she talk about what she loved, what brought her happiness, what she loved to eat, what flowers she loved, what movies she loved, what music made her spirit feel light.

Immediately, she spent her last days telling her loved ones her passions, her desires, her heart,  and her soul.  When she went off-world, she was able to do so in peace.

I decided to make that lesson, waiting for the big moment until the end has come, my lesson.

With that advice in mind, I have decided to use this post to express what I love, what inspires me, excites me, and empowers me.

Music I Love

1. Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magick ~ the 1991 Red Hot Chili Pepper Grammy Award-winning masterpiece.  Some of my favourite songs, “Suck My Kiss,” “Breaking The Girl,” and “Sir Psycho Sexxy” are on this beautiful cd.

2. Songs In The Key Of LIfe ~ Stevie Wonder’s 1976 masterpiece of such consummate beauty and soul that listening to it makes me feel up-lifted and inspired.

3. Dry ~ PJ Harvey’s brilliant debut expanded my soul so much that, to this day, I put this in my cd player to relive walking through LA’s darkened Hollywood streets while the sun dips behind the horizon, painting the sky vermilion, gold, and shades of deep blue.

4. Nevermind ~ Nirvana’s catchy punk/pop classic of timelessness.  Not one bad song on the entire cd; I can listen to the entire CD without skipping anything.  Favourite song: “Lithium.”  It’s when I listen to this song that I miss Kurt Cobain and his songwriting genius. Also, it makes me feel nostalgic for the early 90s; music was so raw, human, and visceral. Bliss!!

5. Rid Of Me ~ the second album by PJ Harvey.  Raw, loud, and vulnerable.  This album reconnects me to my feelings and my humanness.  Brilliant!

Things I Love

1. the scent of roses
2. the scent of freshly watered grass, plants, flowers
3. the scent of rain
4. reading spiritual books
5. the colour purple
6. the colour indigo
7. flowing dresses in bold and bright colours
8. the scent of nutmeg
9. baking
10.the scent of cinnamon and cloves
11. the woodsy scent of patchouli and sandalwood
12. the music of Motown, particularly the Temptations
13. time spent at the Pacific Ocean
14. early morning meditation periods
15. traveling to exotic locales like Thailand, Greece, and Ecuador
16. I love to sing rhythm and blues

These days I spend my time singing in the shower, in my bedroom, walking down the road, or wherever I find myself.  I feel such joy when I do that!

I follow my spirit by listening to music that uplifts me.  See the list above to get a better idea of what does the trick.

And when I want to laugh, I watch Family Guy or America Dad.  Laughing clears my aura and reconnects me to my spirit.  Once I am connected I feel more light, free, and hopeful.  This makes me create more.  When I am creating, I am adding joy to the world!

I know that, to some people, that may sound a tad Pollyanna-ish.  However, I choose to please myself.

Today, I choose to focus on what my spirit wants as opposed to what others may expect of me.  When I do this, I am a more compassionate, loving, and kind person.

For me, this how I express self-love.  Self-love is a practice not a destination.  Each day, I have the opportunity to show myself how much I love and value myself.  The more I do this, the more love I feel for meself; the more love I feel, the higher my self-esteem.  The higher my self esteem the more likely it is that I will do more self-loving things that bring joy to me and the world.

If this sounds good to you, give it a try.

Until the next time, Fellow Travelers!

Peace & Healing All

Related Posts:

• 7 Reasons to Start Meditating Now
• Engage Your Heart ~ Live In Your Discomfort Zone
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• the Gift of Anger
• the Blessing of Uniqueness

Changing Habits

One of the most fascinating episodes of House that I have seen is the story of man with split brain syndrome (in which left and right hemispheres can no longer communicate and work in harmony with each other due to the surgical removal of the part of the brain between both).  In the episode, his right hand seems to have a mind of its own; slapping his wife for no logical reason, for example.

Through the force of will, the man with the split brain tried to force his right hand to behave.  But no amount of will worked.

How many timeshave we all attempted to change a habit through the use of sheer will?  Or will’s friend, discipline?

Do you know someone who smokes or can’t stop eating?

They have tried discipline and will to stop.  Perhaps they have aversion therapy to quit smoking.  Or NLP to trick their minds into believing that they hate chocolate.

We have all bought into the cult of discipline and will.  We have been conditioned to believe that, if only we had the right amount of discipline and will, we could blast past all our weaknesses, obstacles, and fear into that golden promised land of success.

Why Discipline Doesn’t Work

Discipline does not work for a very simple reason.  Habits are usually automatic, and the part of the psyche responsible for that is the subconscious mind.  the subconscious mind accounts for 88% of the psyche’s energy.  However, the conscious mind accounts for only 12%.  In a conflict between 88% and 12%, which side do you think would win?

If you guessed 88%, you would be correct.  The subconscious mind is theorised to be the home of all social and cultural conditioning.

So no matter how much that 12% of you desires to stop smoking or stop overeating, the remaining 88% of you says, “Smoking is relaxing, and I can’t stop.”  Or, “I will always be fat.”

Guess what?

Any attempt to quit smoking or overeating will be met with furious inner resistance.

So now what do you do?  Give up?

Well, no, really.

Pathways Of Change

When making a change, it is natural to feel fear and/or doubt.  Be gentle with yourself.  Take your time.  Changing a habit does not always have clearly defined steps.  Be prepared to take action, and correct your course as you go.  Remember this is not a race to see how fast you can change; it is a journey to transform your mind and your life.

So here are some practical tips to creating new and positive habits that support you.

1.  Identify the habit you wish to change. For example, if you want to quit smoking, it would be wise to acknowledge that to yourself (or a supportive friend).

2. Identify the habit you are establishing. If you wish to be a non-smoker, it would be wise to set a quantifiable intention.  What would be the benefit of being a non-smoker?  Perhaps you would like to walk up a flight of steps without gasping for breath.  Or you might enjoy running a marathon.

3. Enlist the help of “believing mirrors.” A believing mirror is someone who believes you can achieve your desires and may offer emotional/financial or other help.  As stated above, tell a supportive friend who is behind you in your desire to stop smoking.  It could be someone who would also like to stop smoking.  Or it could be a friend who just wants to help you on your journey to better health.

4.  Set a target date and write it down. Setting a time limit is helpful.  Keeps you from procrastinating and living on Someday Isle.  As long as you have a time frame that exists only in your head, it is easy to put off taking action.

5.  Find an accountability partner. It is easier to stay on course when you have to report your action steps to someone.  Remember how you felt when you were asked to wash the dishes or take out the trash by your parents and you didn’t do it?  How did you feel when you were faced with your parents’ disappointment and/or anger?  I’m wagering you felt bad, and decided to do better the next time out.  (Note: the purpose of an accountability partner is to empower you to follow through on your intentions.  Not make you feel bad.)

These action steps work for me.  They might work for you, too.  Experiment with them and feel free to change them to suit your needs.

That’s it for me.

Until next time, Fellow Travelers!

Peace & Healing All

Related Posts:

• the Blessing of Uniqueness
• the Wacky Magickal Power Of Being Yourself
• Engage Your Heart ~ Live In Your Discomfort Zone
• 77 Things That Don’t Suck
• Get Curious About You