the Bend Your Reality Project

photo credit: wakalani

Every once in a while the Universe throws you a curve ball in answer to a question or the internal shout for help.  In my case, it was seeing an Avon commercial on telly in the midnight hours between fitful sleep and wakefulness.  (Go here to read about that).  This was after I expressed my desire to make more money to build my holistic private practice.

Last year I took a guitar lesson from a very nice fellow named Buzz.  He taught me a few chord based soloing techniques in our half hour together.  For a month of lessons, it would have cost me $150.  Which is not over-expensive; however, I had other adventures going on at the time that required my money at that time, so I had to let go of my desire to become a better guitarist for another time.

Enter Blues Guitar Unleashed

Well, that time came on January 10.  I was on my Yahoo! page when I noticed that Jimi Hendrix’s estate had released a new album of his material (Valleys of Neptune).  I clicked to read the news story about it when my eyes caught a link that said you can solo with just four notes!  Preposterous!  Poppycock!  And gobbledygook besides!

I was curious enough to go to the site.  I was introduced to Blues Guitar Unleashed and it’s creator, Griff Hamlin.  The story goes that he created this course with support from his students who felt that they had received such a great benefit from the course and so should others.

When I read this on the course’s sales page, I thought, I am others.  So I purchased the course (about $130), and I have been plugging away with it ever since.

Now most people define personal growth as akin to spiritual shifts.  But I define personal growth as any attitude, belief, and/or action that creates significant and powerful changes in my life; mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

What this course has done for me?

1. I realised that while I am not the guitarist I want to be yet; I am not the worst guitarist in the world (as my mini-me would have me believe).
2. I am uninterested in perfection as a goal. I find trying to be perfect as frustrating as trying to count all the grains of sand on a beach.  Not to mention, being a waste of perfectly good time which I could spend doing worthwhile things like writing songs, writing for my blog, or promoting my Avon business.
3. There’s a reason why they call guitar practice a practice. It means we are supposed to make mistakes and learn from them.  If we were meant to play guitar, sing, dance, write, or live perfectly; it would be called guitar perfect, sing perfect, or writing perfect.
4. I am a success each and every day I turn up and play guitar. Whether I play well or badly, I turn up and see what happens.  And believe me, there are days when my fingers behave as if they are alien to my body.
5. Even when you love something, sometimes it just feels uncomfortable to change and grow. I love playing guitar!  I love learning new comping techniques, chords, new ways of seeing.  However, I do not like  the road nor the view from here to there.  Because that is some of the most discomforting experiences of my life.  An example, when I was learning to read music, I just could not understand how individual chords fit together.  It was rather like reading German without understanding German at all.  Eventually, I rode out the discomfort, and viola, I suddenly understood how chord progressions fit together.  After that I was able to write some songs!  The discomfort was hell!  But the result made it worth it.  Change is sometimes uncomfortable is the point.
   

Now I mention this because I have always wanted to be a better guitarist, but my inner critic wouldn’t allow it.  I had to play as well as Jimi Hendrix (I am a fan!) or I wouldn’t be allowed to play at all.

What sort of reasoning is this?  I asked myself.  How can I expect to be a better guitar player if I never allow myself the joy of mucking it up and starting again.  And mucking it up some more.  Learning some more.  And starting again!

Answer:  I can’t learn anything if I am not allowed to practice.  And practice badly sometimes.

This is how everyone grows!

Engaging the Heart

Part of the growing process for me is opening the doorways and windows of perception so I can see in new and clearer ways.  After all,  I wasn’t going to become a better guitar player as long as I held the attitude that I was just plain bad!  With that belief in operation, I couldn’t get myself to pick up a guitar without my mini-me sneering, ‘Well, you’re never going to get anywhere!  Remember the last time when….’  Such disheartening words always flattened my spirit and disengaged my heart.

As  long as my logic was the only one allowed in the creative sandbox, there was no creativity present.  Just feelings of resentment and longing that depressed me horribly.  Why do this to myself?  Why do this to yourself?

You Are Now Entering the Discomfort Zone

The best way to solve the problem was to forget about any goals of perfection.  And focus on what you can do today to be a master of conscious creation.  Today is where success is defined.  Not tomorrow!

Each and every action you take action  in the direction of  your life vision is a moment, an hour or a day that you can call yourself successful instead of waiting for that magickal day when all your cats, ducks, or what eggs queue up in a row.  Or in a basket.  Or whatever container or lack of container you would prefer to visualise.

It’s a challenge to be imperfect and turn up anyway. Whether it is to a job you love, or learning to scuba dive; you will enter the discomfort zone.  That horrible liminal period where you feel you can’t do anything right and you flop about like a mud-skipper without the mud.  And all of your attempts to get back to that safe, warm, and secure place you once knew will be thwarted by Universal forces who might have a nasty sense of humour.  That’s okay.

The point is:  I don’t expect to do things perfectly anymore.  And neither should you.  Expect to do well.  But no longer do you need to fear that extreme standards for perfection are called for in your quest to become more of the person you intend to be.  I can allow myself to appreciate the small victories scattered like gold coins on the yellow brick road we call personal growth.  Can you?

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

It’s easier to engage your heart if you allow it to speak to you every once in a while.  Logic isn’t always the best way to live your life.  Neither is avoiding discomfort.

Let’s be honest.  How many of us don’t follow our passions, do what we love because we fear discomfort for even a small period of time?  I do.  Maybe you do as well?

Living in the discomfort zone on occasion can bring great rewards.  If you’re going to follow the yellow brick road of doing what you love, periods of chaos, and mucky icky feelings will be companions.  As I have already stated: sometimes change doesn’t always feel good.  Go on anyway.  Let your heart lead this time.

As I follow the yellow brick road to becoming a better guitar player, I listen to my heart more and my head less.  After all, my head is what got me into the frustrating morass of creative constipation in the first place.

Notes from the Discomfort Zone

Learn that the best way to heal creative constipation or learn any new skill  is to do something creative.   Anything creative. Begin it, feel all the icky sticky feelings that come along for the ride. And do it badly, goodly, or in-betweenly.  But give yourself the opportunity to start.  Perfection unnecessary.  Resistance optional. Turning up a big fat yes!

So here’s the question for you: where in your life can you live in your discomfort zone?  What would be the benefits if you did?

That’s all for today.  Sorry,  no clever jokes!

Peace & Healing,

Vibelicious comments:  Be excellent to each other.

Rude, mean comments will be deleted without exception.

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• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• Get Curious About You
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• The Passion Test
• the Wacky Magickal Power Of Being Yourself

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photo credit: josephpetepickle

I was reading a really cool blog by an odd fellow based in the U.K.   The writer of the blog is called Johnny.  Of course, now that I want to read his blog, I can’t bloody remember the name of it.

But, alas, I digress…

The point of the particular article I read was that: the author had five principles that he choose to live by.  He repeated these principles to himself every morning and every night.  Due to this practice, he feels that his life is guided.  And he is attracting experiences and people that make it very likely that he will be the person he intends to be.

Flash forward a week or two or three.  I am in my “life coach” Elaine’s home office when I begin telling her that this year the guiding traits I intend to focus my attention on are:  fun and freedom. Not necessarily in that order either.

This made me ask, What principles do I intend to live my life by?

Okay. Onward.

Let me be honest.  I have never given this question any consideration until recently.  For me, my entire existence revolved around attaining levels of success that others would admire in order to gain their approval.  I did not think about who I wanted to be.  Or what principles I intend to live by at all.  As a matter of fact, I think I have lived rather unconsciouly up until a few years ago when I had my first nervous breakdown.  And my proverbial lift of sanity crashed to the bottom.  It was only then that I began to consider living my life differently.

Okay. I went sideways again.  Let me go full-tilt forward.

Since I have decided to live a life of adventure, fun, and magick.  It would make sense to create principles that would support that life vision and sustain me on my 2010 adventure to have more fun and freedom in my life.

I intend the freedom to come from:

1. quitting my current job at a massage therapy clinic.
2. owning and operating my own healing practice.
3. buying a car
4. learning to ride a bike
   

And the fun comes from:

1. making new friends
   
2. learning be a better guitarist
   
3. going on my first sky-diving jump
   
4. joining a band
   
5. moving into a flat near the ocean

Just contemplating the conscious creation of this list looks like a large order.

Now here are the questions that will help me and you sort out what principles we intend to live by from now on.

• Now what principles would I/you love to live by?  Or play by for that matter?
  
• Which principles would allow me/you to become the person that lives the life you intend to live?

Each of us will answer these questions differently.  So what I will do right now is use myself as an example and answer the questions and see what guiding principles I would like to use to shape the person I’m about to become.

Living a life of fun, magick, and adventure

As I have stated my purpose is to live a life of fun, magick, and adventure.  My values of focus this year are: more fun and freedom in my life.

Well, it’s obvious to me that my first principle is to live my life like it’s an adventure! So that’s first on my list.

Tc create a more detailed list, I would look at the things I would like less of in my life. More importantly, what do I value in my life?

So I ask myself the question: What would I like less of in my life?

The opposite question would work as well.  What would I like more of in my life?

And the third question asking what you value in life is helpful as well (if you get stuck.)

Here’s My Releasement/Elimination list:

1. Self-criticism.~ I could do with less of my mini-me telling me stories about failure, woe, and doom.
2. Lack of trust in myself ~ I wish I trusted myself more to make sound decisions and stand by them.
3. Not standing by my choices ~ I have a tendency to waffle if my mini-me thinks being agreeable will get me more approval from others.
4. The need to seek approval from others ~ I think many people suffer from this particular affliction.  Problem is that whilst we are all seeking approval from others, we aren’t being ourselves.
5. Fear of “shining my light” ~ I don’t believe I am alone in this one.  No one wants to be called arrogant for giving themselves a pat on the back.  Even when the acknowledgment is well-earned and deserved.
6. Speaking my “truth” ~ Telling people that I don’t agree with their point of view is still a challenge for me.  Even now I still have to practice.  And speaking my truth doesn’t mean I criticise others and call it the “Truth” with a capital T.
7. ignoring my intuition ~ I have regrets like everyone else.  What I regret most is not listening to my inner voice when it suggested I do this or that, and then discovered that a miracle was waiting for me.

Based on my releasement list, my 7 Principles List looks like this:

1. Live my life like it’s a fun adventure
2. Speak of my talents and gifts with joy and gratitude
3. Stand by my choices (which are clear and sound)
4. Speak my truth with love and compassion
5. x
6. y
7. z

Looks a bit incomplete.  So let me ask myself the second question:  What would I like more of in my life?

My Hubba Hubba Me Likey More List:

1. Peace
2. More time to smell the roses with days at the beach
3. learning a new skill to expand my mind
   
4. traveling the world
5. meeting new people from new cultures
   
6. eating new exotic foods
7. learning a new language
   

This list give me more insight.  Judging by my responses, I’d say I was a bit adventure-starved.  My spirit is screaming for new learning experiences; it longs to explore a bit more. Now I can bring my principles list to completion.

However, to deepen my insight on the matter; Let me ask myself, what I value right now?

That’s simple.  As I’ve already stated: fun, freedom.  And, a late entry into this list is inner peace.

Now let’s take a look at my list, and see what develops.

Here’s my 7 Principles to Live By List:

1. Live my life like it’s a fun adventure
2. Speak of my talents and gifts with joy and gratitude
3. Stand by my choices (which are clear and sound)
4. Speak my truth with love and compassion
5. Take time to enjoy life; to “smell the roses” as the saying goes
6. Expand my mind and experiences each day
7. Create a sacred space for inner peace within

As you can see, it’s all in the questions.

[I chose not to write this in a step by step format because I intend to focus on the process of self-reflection.  Questions are better for this process than statements and step-by-step how-tos (which are cool for those that find value in them).  I admit that I have a bias against step by step programmes as I have been misled by a far too many.]

Keep in mind that the list is an ever-evolving list and can and should change as you explore, learn, and grow.

Feel free to share your experiences with these questions in the comments.  I would love to hear what you’ve learned about yourself.  And I would love to read your guiding principles.

Now it’s your turn.  What’s on your Principles List?

Vibelicious comments:  Be excellent to each other.

Rude and/or mean comments will be deleted.

Related Posts:

• Engage Your Heart ~ Live In Your Discomfort Zone
• How to Take Your Power Back
• Letting Go of Mr./Ms. Perfect Person
• Get Curious About You
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photo credit: Aitor Escauriaza

I was visiting Havi’s site one day last week, and was introduced to the wonderful concept of the ungratitude list (also known as the Lentil game).  I loved it so much that I decide to create my own ungratitude list and share it with you here.

So here we are.

What is an ungratitude list?  Let me explain.

Simply put you take eight lentils, spoons, or magick beans and move them over from one cup to another when you discover something in the world that doesn’t completely suck!

Enjoy!

1. the scent of rain
2. sunny days
3. blues skies
4. the friendly cat downstairs that walks me home (his name is Tommy)
5. hot miso soup
6. Havi Brooks’ blog
7. giving the middle finger to conformity
8. being different
9. cherry flavoured Life Savers
10. fresh strawberrries
11. Living in SoCal
12. being from Liverpool, England. Oy!
13. the music of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
14. getting to write as much as I like
15. the forum over at Blues Guitar Unleashed
16. the new adventure of learning to play blues guitar better
17. writing this blog
18. having this website
19. sci-fi films from the 50s, 60s, and 70s
20. horror films from the 60s, 70s and 80s
21. Bruce Lee
22. Pam Grier (especially when she appeared in Sugar Hill as a Devil summoning woman seeking revenge for the murder of her fiance
23. jacaranda trees in bloom in late spring
24. playing blues guitar
25. the poetry of Anne Sexton
26. the poetry of Nikki Giovanni
27. the poetry of Alice Walker
28. Aretha Franklin’s voice
29. the music and the harmonies of the Temptations
30. the Motown sound
31. purple orchids
32. the colour purple (the colour not the movie)
33. the Warriors (0ne of the coolest and oddest movies I’ve ever seen)
34. Jimi Hendrix’s music and guitar playing
35. blues music
36. funk music
37. Otis Redding’s voice
38. Janis Joplin’s voice
39. P-funk, pre-Westbound years
40. Shiva Nata
41. having a tongue to taste all of the wonderful food in this world
42. indigo, the colour
43. That 70’s Show
44. Topher Grace, that 70’s Show wouldn’t be the same without him
45. the X-Files, the early years
46. peace of mind
47. fleece blankets
48. massage therapy and bodywork
49. helping people
50. 19 degrees Celsius (weather)
51. hot baths on a cold winter’s night
52. cool breezes on a hot summer’s day/night
53. the first night of the full moon
54. spring time
55. the smell of freshly cut grass
56. the wonderful peppermint cold air scent my Gran had
57. sterling silver jewlery
58. Kurt Cobain’s songwriting
59. Nirvana’s music
60. knowing how to type (even though I went into horrible debt to do so)
61. reading fantasy novels
62. the Harry Potter series
63. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeline L’Engle
64. Where the Things Are (I’ve loved this book since I was a child)
65. hot soup on cold days (ahh!)
66. the velvety texture of fresh raspberries
67. the wild juiciness of blackberries
68. the scent of lemongrass
69. the scent of lavender
70. the sound of wind chimes
71. the percussive sounds of African drums and rhythms
72. the blues
73. the gorgeous spooky voice of Chester Burnett (known to the world as Howlin’ Wolf)
74. the gritty blues of Muddy Waters
75. the shapely and graceful lines of a Fender Jaquar guitar
76. vintage guitars
77. vintage guitar effects pedals

Your turn.  What’s on your Ungratitude List

Vibelicious comments: Be kind.  Be excellent to everyone.  And have fun.

Rude and/or mean comments will be deleted.

Related Posts:

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Have you seen Leo Babauta’s ( of Zen Habits) new site, 6 changes?

6 changes is an excellent solution to the challenge of new year’s resolutions that don’t happen.

Leo suggests picking 6 habits you like to change in the coming year, and devoting eight week timeblocks to building each habit.  This gives you two months build a new habit so that at the end of the year, you have made progress on your yearly intentions.

Test Driving 6 Changes in 2010

I have some habits I’d like to adopt in order to move myself up to the level of living I feel would be best for me to live the life I want to live.  I’m looking forward to seeing if Leo’s philosophy for change can help me.

Wanna join me?

• Begin a vegetarian lifestyle, eating 75% raw and whole food.
• Learn photography.
• Start a four-piece rock  n’ soul band.
• Write my second e-book.
• Start a Pilates and/or yoga practice at least three times a week.
• Support myself in a full-time private practice as a therapeutic massage therapist/bodyworker, hypnotherapist, and energy healer.

Wow!  These look like big changes to make in the span of one year, but Leo suggests focusing less on the end point and more on the small details that make up the outcome.  Besides, focusing on the outcome in twelve months feels overwhelming to me.  Better to focus my attention in two month increments, and let the outcome take care of itsself.

6 Changes I Made in 2009

• I moved to Santa Monica, CA
• Changed jobs.
• Wrote my first e-book.
• Create this website.
• Became a state of CA certified Massage Therapist/Bodyworker
• Got my CA driver’s license.

I won’t pretend to anyone that these changes were easy, but they impacted my life in significant and positive ways.  I wouldn’t go back and change a moment of that journey no matter how challenging things might have looked at the time.

Now it’s your turn.  What 6 changes would you like to make in 2010? Feel free to leave your answers in the comments.

Vibelicious Comments: Be excellent to each other.  Rude and/or mean comments will be deleted.

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photo credit: h.koppdelaney

I am mad as hell and I am not gonna take it anymore!

Bear with me, fellow travelers as I post my first wild angry stuck rant!

I’m writing this post because I’ve noticed that most posts are about escaping from the cubicle. Obviously, these writers all believe that everyone is trying to escape from cubicle nation like Snake Plisken trying to escape from New York. I intend to offer a different perspective on this topic.

It’s Friday afternoon, and I am sitting in front of this computer writing this post while contemplating the long annoying bus ride to work. At which time, I will don a black uniform with the words Massage Envy embroidered on my chest.

I will work from 4pm to 10pm massaging people who desire deeply to receive cheap massages from massage therapists working for a mere $16 per hour base pay plus gratuities (which comes to about $26 per hour; a pay cut came in December 2009).  I will come home aching and knackered, and I will do this again tomorrow and the day after that. Until Tuesday (which is my first day off after five days straight).

Sideways:

Now before some lovely soul writes me a strongly worded reply, let me say this: massage therapy/bodywork is physically demanding work.  Most of the time therapists at massage clinics have to put in long hours to barely make ends meet.  I work with therapists who are worried that if they don’t get massages every day that they will have to look for work elsewhere.  Most of the time their predictions are proven correct.

So let me add this straightaway:  the purpose of this article is to give a voice to those of us working in non-corporate environments, experiencing some of the same soul-shattering procedures that people orbiting in a corporate setting have to tolerate.  In short, I intend to foster solidarity between us worker bees and drones.  We are all in the same boat, us innerpreneurs, solopreneurs, and entrepreneurs in the making.  We want to make a difference in whatever way feel best to us, and make a very prosperous living indeed.

Is this all that there is?

There’s got to more to life than renting my time and my mind to two people who, during our last employee meeting, told us that they were suffering as well. After all, they have to give up their second car, a Humvee. Maybe give up their lavish condo whilst most of us massage therapists are either living with our parents or with roommates. And paying rent with majority of our cheques.

Seriously.

And, oh how I do love employee meetings!

I positively enjoy getting up before the sun so I can have the thrill of listening to the other therapists recycle their complaints from past meetings; and listen to management pretend that they give a damn about us and our grievances.

If this were the truth, things would change. But they don’t.

First of all, I don’t work 9-5. Just because I don’t doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the same feelings a prisoner serving a the first few years of a life sentence would feel. I wear black. I hate black.

Why do all managers, whether they are in corporate america or running a boutique massage therapy clinic, believe that black is so professional looking? All it says to me is: we don’t trust you to express yourself without looking like either a vagrant or a prostitute.

Making a Statement to the World

I wear a uniform. A black uniform. I hate black on principle. And I dislike even more being told what to wear. Telling me what to wear is tantamount to treating me like an addle brained pre-schooler. Obviously, I am too stupid to choose my own wardrobe myself; I need someone to take over for my mum and decided for me. You never know, I may actually leave the house in a purple tutu, brown cowboy boots, and a silver and pink bustier! That would really be making a statement to the world!

They make promises they cannot keep. They tell us how important we are to them, and then hire more therapists despite the fact that they don’t have enough clients for everyone. So now everyone who doesn’t have a session gets to sit around the break room with nothing to do.

We won’t hire anymore therapists; you are so important to us! Two days later, a new therapist appears out of the ether for orientation.

There is a lovely policy flibberdygibbit thingy that tells us what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. Dammit, I could never figure that out for myself! Of course, I may decide to something really interesting. Like think for myself!

In addition to this, there are the lovely signs warning us not to do this or that in the breakroom. With several exclamation points for emphasis. I do so enjoy artwork!

We aren’t allowed to fix the massage therapy rooms in any way we like.  Our regional managers will turn up every once in a while to enforce the rule that each  room must be decorated in the following manner: a massage table with warmer, blanket, bolster; there’s a candle, tissue, hand sanitiser.  On the wall, a clock.  In the corner of the room, a beige ottoman.  No other decorations are allowed.

As you can see, the grievances that I (and the other massage therapists at the clinic I work at) have are rather similar to the once expressed by office workers and other inhabitants of the cubicle world.  When you are employed by someone else, these are the conditions you tolerate.

Now I understand that there are people out there who enjoy working for someone else.  To them I say, more power to you.  However, not everyone receives fulfillment working a job.  I have worked since I was fourteen years old, and I didn’t realise until recently that I am meant to be an entrepreneur.

The Point of All This?

Now I know some of you light chasers out there are probably saying to yourselves, ‘You should be giving thanks for this job that pays your bills, your rent, and your food! If you would just practice more gratitude, you would get some much more out of life!’

Not the point, my lightchasing friends. Point is, that I know there is more to life than spending my days sitting in a tube with wheels going from one building to another with nary an original liberating thought in sight.

I believe I deserve (and anyone else who’s similarly inclined)  more than a job to just pay the bills, the rent, the food. I deserve to have fun, magick and adventure in my life.  As does anyone else who has had the revelation that they are an entrepreneur at heart!

And, before all my light chasing friends out there say, ‘But your job can be fun, magickal, and adventure-filled if only you’d just think more positively.’ Let me say this: That’s not what I want at all.

I don’t want a fun, magickcal, and adventure-filled JOB! I WANT a fun, magickal, and adventure-filled holistic healing centre!

Anyway, I don’t like lightchasing magickal thinkers dancing about me sprinkling positive thoughts and affirmations on me like magickal pixie dust. We’ll have no more of that, thanks!

My challenge? Feeling uncomfortable whilst starting my own massage/bodywork studio, website design business, and doing some coaching/intuitive consulting.

I may not know how I’m going to do this, but I know there is a reward along the way. I get to think for myself, be myself, and help others in ways that make me-and them- feel good as well.

What do you think? Are there any dreamers out there feeling frustrated and stuck?  If you were able to get out, how did you get out?

Vibelicious comments. Be excellent to everyone!*

Being excellent to everyone means being respectful of others and their feelings. Rude, mean comments will be deleted.

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photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³

It’s November again; the year seems to have drifted by so quickly. Ordinarily, this time of year finds me plucking away, nose to grindstone at my massage therapy job. Usually, the months of November is quite uneventful; this year I’m doing something different.

I’m writing a novel in thirty days through the non-profit organisation, the National Novel Writing Contest (go here to find out how you can become involved.)

You read correctly. I am writing a 50,000 word novel that is going to be completed by November 30.
Why am I doing this? And how?

Let me answer the first question. I am doing this to expand my mind and to grow. Also, I have always wanted to write another novel. I wrote my first novel when I was about thirteen or fourteen.

What stopped me before were my limiting thoughts of hyper-perfection. Meaning that, I compared my hatchling novel to the great masterpieces of established authors.  What I didn’t see was that those writers’ works were edited; I never read their rough drafts.

Secondly, how? As I have mentioned above I signed up at the National Novel Writing Contest [dot] org.

About NaNoWriCo

NaNoWriCo is an exciting and fun contest that begins on November 1. The goal of each participant is to write an 175 page novel by midnight November 30.

Who NaNoWriCo is for?

NaNoWriCo is for people who have always longed to write an novel but never did do because they lacked support or just scared away by the prospect.

The point of the thirty day deadline is to inspire quantity over quality. And lower the participants expectations and motivate them to take risks. December is for editing the novel, if you desire to do so.

Of course, you will write alot of rubbish. But that’s okay; it’s part of the process. You’re supposed to make mistakes, and open up your mind so you can learn.

In addition, it’s very reassuring to know that, all around the world, other new novelists are facing the same excitment and challenges as you are. You are not alone. There’s even a forum for the NaNoWriCo novelists to connect with others in their times of challenge and opportunity.

How NaNoWrico works?

The process is simple.

1). You sign up at NaNoWriCo [dot] org.
2) Read the email from the website.
3). Log into your account, and set your preferences ( set your time zone, affiliate yourself with a region, and create your author bio.
4). Read all the writing tips that can help you get started.
5). On November 1, begin writing your novel.
6). Update your word count as often as you like. The word count box is at the top of the page near the login link.
7). On November 30, you upload the novel for verification of word count. At that time, you will be added to the hallowed winner’s page, and receive a winner’s certificate and badge. The upload process will be published in mid-November.

I must admit that starting that novel was more scary than exciting.

First, I couldn’t think of a story to write. Then I had far too many ideas for my novel. And I had far too many questions.
In the end, I chose to write a novel that would be fun; that I wouldn’t take seriously; that I could learn alot writing without getting overly attached to the outcome.

With this criteria, I began writing on November 3. It’s still too soon to tell what the outcome will be. Or how the story will end. But I don’t much care. All that matters to me now is to complete the novel by November 30, and inner growth. Any other outcome would be wonderful, but not necessary.

Win or lose is beside the point. I believe that I am a superstar for even embarking on the journey.

What’s my novel about?

I’m writing a fantasy novel for young adults involving fairies, wizards, and demons; some of my favourite supernaturals.

I’m looking forward to finding out what the story is about, because I have no idea. I started writing with the first scene that came to mind, and the words, ‘It was a dark and stormy night.’ Ha, ha!

I’ll keep you posted, fellow travelers, on my progress as I write a novel.

As I come to the end of this post, I wonder who I will be once I complete the novel? What will the world look like to me then? What will I look like to me when I finish?

I leave you, fellow travelers, with a question:

What have you always wanted to do that you have felt too scared to do? Could you devote November to taking steps towards that vision?

Share your insights!

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

Related Posts:

• Get Curious About You
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• The Passion Test
• Engage Your Heart ~ Live In Your Discomfort Zone

photo credit: seanmcgrath

As I was riding the bus this morning, lost in thought, I suddenly remembered a picture I had seen once called Snake Eyes (with Nicolas Cage); it’s the oft-told story of a corrupt cop who has a change of heart once he becomes entangled in a conspiracy to commit murder.

I was reminded that, at the end of the film, Cage’s character’s life into ruin despite the fact that he had chosen to do the right thing.

The correlation I made to my own spiritual journey through life was that, more often than not, when we change even a little bit of ourselves our lives usually will look like a mess to us and to everyone around us.

It’s virtually impossible to keep your reality the same while changing yourself. I have made hundreds of futile attempts to do so. All of them have been in vain. No matter how hard we try, we can’t reach for new possibilities and hold on to what we have for dear life.

So what can we do?

Surrender.

I define surrender as remaining present with your feelings and emotions in the present.  Right where you are now.  It is a process, not a destination.  It’s allowing what going on inside you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually to okay without the need to judge whether your feelings, thoughts, actions are socially appropriate to others.

Is this easy?  Of course not.  Surrendering to the present isn’t easy at all.  Each and every day I choose to work on it.  I never surrender perfectly (if such a thing is possible).  And that isn’t important anyway.

What is important is allowing yourself to feel what you feel in the moment regardless of whether or not you, or others around you, like it.

Once you are able to be where you are when you are, you open yourself up to becoming more mindful; with mindfulness comes the ability to let go of things that no longer work, and move forwards towards things that are good for you.

Here are a few tips for surrendering to the now:

1). Get out in to nature. Being able to opt-out of your current reality for even a few minutes a day could help you de-stress enough to think more clearly.

2). Have fun. Every once in a while, step off the treadmill that is reality, and have some fun.  See a funny film.  Have a giggle with friends.  Do something you enjoy for at least ten minutes a day.

3). Be with people you love. If you are going to spend eight hours plus a day with people you really have no connection with, it’s important to balance that with time spent with people you do have a connection with.

4). Don’t take reality or yourself so seriously. This is a difficult one to do consistently.  I admit that I have challenges with this.  Sometimes I am just too angry or hurt to laugh.  Or sometimes I find myself buying into the illusion that I am a helpless victim of life, and must accept what little I get and be grateful for it.  Such perceptions can be grim indeed.  But remembering that nothing is permanent in this world keeps me from sinking into a morass of self-pity.

With the suggestions above, I can go with the flow more.  Be open.  And allow the Creative Force and time to work with me and for me.  Instead of against me.  I have the freedom to surrender, knowing that tomorrow brings with it the opportunity for new choices, new possibilities that did not exist before.  That is something that both and inspires and motivates me to keep trudging forward even when things appear bleak or scary.

How about you?

What changes have you resisted?  And what occurred when you allowed yourself to surrender and “go with the flow?” How do your reality change afterward?

Feel free to share your insights.

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

Related Posts:

• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• The Passion Test
• the Wacky Magickal Power Of Being Yourself
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photo credit: OakleyOriginals

“This one question – ‘What do I know for certain?’ – is tremendously powerful. When you look deeply into this question, it actually destroys your world. It destroys your whole sense of self, and it’s meant to. You come to see that everything you think you know about yourself, everything you think you know about the world, is based on assumptions, beliefs and opinions – things you believe because you were taught or told that they were true. Until we start to see these false perceptions for what they really are, consciousness will be imprisoned within the dream state.” Adyashanti, The End of Your World

It was on one of those self-reflective days on my daily walking meditation that it suddenly occurred to me that I have no definitions for success and authenticity and spirituality that were self-defined.

And it was causing me alot of pain and suffering.

I realised, as I revisited my past selves in my mind, that I often allowed the definitions and judgements of others define me, my level of success, and level of authenticity; whether it be family, friends, or other peers.  In fact, it never occurred to me to question what success, authenticity and spirituality meant to me.  I was too busy looking at the externals in every situation.  And coming up short in my estimation.

Also, I don’t know anything for certain about me, or my point of view.  I never took the time to self-reflect to the level that I do now.  I preferred to make others responsible for me self-esteem, my past and current choices, and current place in life.  It was quite frightening, honestly.

All of this happened because I wasn’t particularly curious about me.  Perhaps I was afraid of what I might discover.  Or, more truthfully, I thought I knew what sort of person I was.  And I saw no reason for further exploration.  I believed I was being self-accepting.

Then something within me changed.  I attended hypnotherapy school, and became quite fascinated with how I saw the world.  I wondered how I formed my perceptions and beliefs in the first place.  And my journey did not lead me back to my family, friends, or peers.  It lead me straight back to me; the originator and instigator in my life story.

Sideways:

The first inkling I had (this was before hypnotherapy school)  that I was the one in control of my mind, emotions, and life was while I was dining at my favourite thai/vegan restaurant on my lunch hour.  I had always defined myself as an independent loner type who had few friends because I wouldn’t let others close to me.

However, was this the truth?  Or a story I told myself?

Answer: it was a story.

I believed that I was powerless to change the story because this was just who I was.

That is, until the small still voice within me weighed in on the internal dialogue.  It was you who created the story, and the labels you come to know yourself by, it whispered, and you are the only one who can change them.  No one else.

This knocked me sideways.  I was responsible for causing myself pain.  Not my mum, my family, my past lovers and friends.  You mean it was me all along?  And it wasn’t written in stone, as I had believed, I could change it at any time?

I wish I could say the journey was always pleasant, filled with joy.  But it isn’t.  I wish I could say that the journey is over and I have landed in Enlightenment-ville; a place where enlightened souls live.  But I didn’t.  In fact, as of this writing, I am still learning about myself.  Every day, I question assumptions I have made about me and my place in the world.

Full tilt:

It wasn’t until I attended hypnotherapy school (hypnosis is a wonderful tool that allows people to understand well what their beliefs are, how they are formed, and if they serve them in any way) that I got very curious about me.  Instead of assuming that I knew all I needed to know about me, I began to question my assumptions.

I believe it’s not always possible to know for certain about anyone, including myself.  But what I do know about me is that I enjoy the process of discovering all about me.

Discovering about yourself is rather like building a house.  You have to first start with the foundations.  Core beliefs are those foundations formed in the early childhood.  An unexamined belief is like a flu virus; it can be dangerous to you if left unchecked.  Getting curious about yourself is like a antidote.

Here’s a question or two or three to get you started on your very own Get-Curious-About-You Journey:

• Who were you before the world decided who you were? Everyone of us had hopes and dreams that we may have innocently shared with our families with all of the awe and wonder of a child.  Only to have those desires wrested from our grasp by people who believed they knew how the world worked.  Here is your chance to reclaim those lost hopes and dreams.
• What dreams and hopes did you have as a child? And what made you give them up?  Did you grow and change in unexpected ways?  Or did you decide that you were being unrealistic?
• What was the characteristics that those around you most noticed? Were you shy, quiet, the showstopping extrovert?  I believe these labels are keys to sorting out who you really are and, even better,  who you want to be.

This journey begins with you.  You are the creator, the architect, the engineer of your beliefs, point of view, and dreams.  Isn’t it time that you become acquainted with you so you can make wiser choices that are in integrity with who you desire to become?

When you get curious about you, you throw off the shackles of externally defined limitations.  You can then become more open to the opportunities that are presenting themselves to you now instead of making choices based on your history.

Knowledge may not always be power, but it can be a helpful tool in getting unstuck and navigating change.

Enough from me.  It’s your turn.  Share your thoughts.

Peace & Healing, Fellow Travelers

Related Posts:

• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• the Gift of Anger
• How Our Stories Create Our Realities
• The Passion Test

photo credit: brendan.lally.

I’m always amazed when Halloween comes round.  It seems as if the year has just begun with all its promises and possibility intact.

Yes, I know that the New Year is observed in January.  However, the New Year I am observing is the pagan one.  At this time of the year, I begin looking forward to what new harvests I would like to plant;  at the same time, I begin the liberating, but sometimes uncomfortable, process of uncluttering my life and finishing up old projects.

I always look forward with alot of excitement like a child anticipating all the Christmas gifts s/he will be getting.  So without further ado, here’s my list of the five creative things for the new year.

Sideways, before I give you the list, let me give you my one and only guideline: 1). creative things can be big or small; the only person they have to satisfy is you.

Why 5?  Five seems manageable to me; prevents too much overthinking and hyper-analysing amd free us up to just declare our desires.  And eventually take action towards them.

Okay, moving onward…

My 5  Creative Things List

1). learn to ride a bike.  This has been a subject of shame for me since I was twelve and just couldn’t learn to balance on a bicycle properly.

2). learn to draw.  I would love to draw anything, and expand beyond the limits of the belief that says I can’t draw and can’t ever learn to draw.

3). learn to play blues guitar.  I love music and the blues is the foundation for practically every form of music in the Western world.

4). learn to skateboard.  This one would allow me to get over my fears of physically being hurt, and allow me to embrace my inner daredevil!  Besides, skate boarding is really cool to me.

5). get my first tattoo.  My idea is to get one of the Tibetan Om symbol.  I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but was afraid to get one  due to finances and pain.  But since I am a certified hypnotherapist, I’ve sorted out that I can simply numb the area with hypnosis.

Now you.  What 5 creative things would you be excited to accomplish?

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section below.

Until next time, fellow travelers!

Peace & Healing

Related Posts:

• Get Curious About You
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• The Passion Test
• On Taking the Red Pill
• How Our Stories Create Our Realities