the Gift of Anger
Posted by Sean Stargazer | Posted in Self-Actualisation | Posted on 18-10-2009
Tags: awakening, change, developing the new you, happiness, Inner Growth, learning, peace, self realisation, Self-Actualisation, self-love
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In the New Age community, much has been made of the ability to turn negative emotions like anger into more positive emotions. The point of this exercise is to make us more magnetic to what we really want so we stop attracting and manifesting negative experiences.
I was once a Law of Attraction believer. I believed if I were to feel only positive feelings and thought positive thoughts then I would avoid all of the chaos and oops situations in my life. After all, everyone knows if you just avoid negative feelings you will have positive experiences.
All this did for me was create feelings of guilt which led me to try harder to think and feel positive; this led me to feel frustrated which led to more feelings of guilt. And finally to anger. It was a never-ending vicious cycle.
Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point.
I have had a strained relationship with my mum since I was a teenager. We are not close. The reason being that I had alot of feelings of resentment towards her; anger towards myself for not living up to my high expectations that I could just forgive and then forget the poor choices she made in my childhood that put me and my siblings in danger; all this was done for the sake of her own personal gain. As I said, I had a wellspring of resentment built up because I spent years denying the fact that I was angry.
Why?
Because I felt like a bad person; I believed that I had no right to be angry with her because she’s my mum. I guess I thought it was wrong to be angry at your mum.
As long as I denied my anger, and believed I had no right to my feelings; the more resentful I became. Then one day I met a rather indifferent psychiatrist who told me that feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just are. Just like that.
It started me thinking. It wasn’t wrong to feel anger towards my mum at all. It was wrong to pretend I wasn’t feeling what I was feeling. Once I admited that, yes, I am angry at her; and, yes I my anger is justified. I allowed myself the gift of embracing my feelings and healing simultaneously.
The point is this: not all anger is self-destructive. Sometimes anger is an indicator that can lead to growth and healing. If you’re willing to face your anger head on, be present with it by admitting it to yourself; then working through it with a therapist or with physical activity like hitting a pillow, screaming, kickboxing or whatever, you may experience a period that feels like a walk through total darkness but you will come out of the dark a more compassionate and whole person.
The world could use more compassionate and whole people.
So…
Are you harbouring any anger within you? At whom or what?
Now that you have this information, allow yourself to feel the tsunami of emotion completely. Do what you need to do to make it easier on yourself. Scream, punch a pillow, go running, for example. Admit that you’re angry.
Go ahead; I’ll wait.
Okay. Feel better?
Here’s a little dewdrop of wisdom I’ve learned in my self-actualisation journey: The world won’t end because you’ve gotten upset. Trust me. I have gotten angry many times with people and situations, and the world is still here today. I believe you will have a similar experience.
Anger is only toxic or poisonous when it is allowed to fester for too long. The key is to admit you’re angry, feel your anger, express it, move it out of you by moving your body.
Is this always easy? No, it’s can be challenging sometimes. But when you follow or adapt the journey mentioned, you have an excellent chance of experiencing the healing that its a natural outcome.
Everyone deserves healing. Don’t you?
What I want you to keep in mind: being angry is okay. Holding it in or denying it isn’t. And anger can clear the path to wisdom and clarity. Who couldn’t use more those?
Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!



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