the Blessing of Uniqueness
Posted by Sean Stargazer | Posted in Self-Actualisation | Posted on 12-10-2009
Tags: awakening, change, developing the new you, discipline, happiness, Inner Growth, learning, new vision of you, new you, peace, practical tips
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Your soul is an all-inclusive package – frills, foibles, and contradictions. It’s your opposing parts that leverage your magnificence into full force. ‘ ~Danielle LaPorte ~
Not too long ago I foolishly asked a friend of mine to tell me my foibles. She did. And I didn’t like what I heard, because, in her eyes, my foibles were not wonderful, dear, or wowerful; they were irritating and annoying. This led to a long conversation that went nowhere and solves nothing.
She listed as a so-called foible my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve; i.e., when I am upset, angry, sad or whatever, I tell people around me and I show my feelings, too. This is a natural reaction, I might add. But it’s a problem for her because she is a card-carrying member of the Positivity Cult. The motto of this cult is to avoid anything that it labels as negative. This could be anything; for example, expressing sadness at the loss of a romantic relationship.
I don’t happen to believe that expressing emotions like anger or sadness is negative at all. And I take exception to those people out there who have decided that the only world worth living in is a world where everyone walks around with happy smiles pasted on their faces (whether or not this is the truth on the inside or not). I believe that sadness is appropriate if your grandmother has just gone off-world (passed away, passed on, etc.).
‘Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.’
- Walt Whitman
After that conversation, I became convinced that we are a beautiful mess of contradictions. Inside of me lives a staunch intellectual, a rock ‘n’ roll tomboy, a sensitive poet, an adventurer, a wanderer, a musician, a faerie goddess, an urban Bodhisattva, a Nefertiti archetype. All of these contradictions are sometimes in harmony with each other, and, at other times, in conflict with each other.
Why?
Because each aspect of me has it’s own desires, hopes, expectations, and dreams. Some of these will be in harmony with my spirit, while others will out of sync.
Until recently, I fought an ongoing war with all my selves, and got nowhere. Now I know better. It’s okay to have all of these parts of me. They contribute to the wild juiciness that is me. None of them are right or wrong. More me or less me.
However, some of them are less in harmony with my spirit and who I want to be.
The important thing to remember is this: there is no need to apologise for being who you are. More than accepting who you are, these other parts of you carry within them gifts, talents, and strengths that could be of use to you. They are wonderful resources, but first you have to embrace them, be okay with them, and then celebrate them.
I invite all fellow travelers to opportunity to practice a day or an hour of un-apology.
What is un-apology?
Stop apologising for who you are. It’s true that people aren’t going to like you all the time. As a matter of fact, they might get angry at you for not changing to win their approval.
And that’s okay. Everyone doesn’t have to like you all the time. Be at peace with that and give yourself and your loved ones the gift of seeing and being with the real you. Not some facsimile created to hide the truth.
It’s a blessing to be unique. Enjoy the blessing!
Dig the vibe, fellow travelers.
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