the Bend Your Reality Project

photo credit: h.koppdelaneyI was reading a great post written by Havi Brooks about having your own dammit list.  This is a list in which you detail what you stand for; what you will or won’t do, be, or tolerate.

I found the experience to be quite liberating.  I felt comfortable givng myself permission to meet myself where I am now, and say, “This is who I am and what I stand for, dammit!  And it’s okay!”  Hell, it is more than okay; it’s bloody magnificent.

I am not a believer in hiding one’s light under a bushel so that others round feel more comfortable.  I say if people feel uncomfortable, it’s time for them to step out of whatever bloody box they’ve built round themselves, and step into the discomfort zone where real growth can occur.  Cuz growth isn’t always comfortable.  In fact, most of the time, it feels awful.  And there’s nothing worse than trying to pretend that things are feeling wonderful when, in truth, everything’s crap.

It’s a liberating experience when you say out loud or to yourself, ‘I declare this to be the truth for me!’  It was for me.  At long last, I feel like I have a working compass again.

So with great fanfare and the blaring of horns, here’s my dammit list (which is a work in progress)

Harrumph rah!

My Declaration of Magnificency

1. I don’t accept unsolicited advice, “constructive” criticism, or suggestions.  Ever. Period.

2. I “ain’t changing shite” is my motto.  I only change if I want to.  Not because someone else says
I should.

3. I refuse to go to Chicago ever again.  For any reason.

4. I’m under no obligation to listen to my mini-me or others opinions if I don’t want to.  And
I don’t want to.  Especially if it’s about how I can change to suit others.  This means if you
have an opinion/criticism about me, stow it; I don’t care to hear it.  Never ever ever!

5. I reserve the right to swear whenever I bloody well please.

6. My Inner SupaDupa Star is be respected, honoured and cherished at all times.

7. I get to wear African-inspired headwrap crowns without apology.

8. I get to quit anything that bores the shite out of me.

9. I self-opt out of being a nice person or a good person.  For the rest of my life.

10. I get to follow my heart, my spirit and intuition from now on.  And fuck what others think!

11. I get to sleep late whenever it bloody well pleases me.

12. I get to have a Jamba Juice on Tuesdays when I desire it.

13. I intend to treat myself as the queen/goddess that I am.  And everyone else is
free to do the same.  If they fancy.

14. I get to remind myself of my magnificence every day!  Out loud, if it pleases me!

15. It’s cool with me if people don’t like, understand, or support what I am doing all the
time.

16. I don’t ever have to like night clubs or parties.

17. I get to change my mind about everything in my reality.  Just because I want to.

18. I won’t ever ask for permission to follow my spirit, my heart, or my intuition ever
again.  Deal with it!

19. I give myself the freedom to opt-out of things that I am supposed to just because
they have always been done.

20. I get wear lots of colour.  And the colours get to clash!

21. Mondays are me time.  Period.

22. I choose to avoid indulging in small talk or boring conversations.

23. I get break any social rule I want just because I believe they’re stupid.

24. I get to say,  ‘No.’ with joy, when some asks, ‘Do you want to know what I think?’

25. I get to be whoever I say I am; even if you don’t get me.  That’s your problem.

26. My mission, life purpose, and soulmate are all who and what I say they are.  Also,
I am who I say I am; regardless of who I might have been in the past.

27.  I get to make it up as I go along.  (I have a Ph.D in Making Stuff Up.  Apologises
not forthcoming!)

28. I reserve the right to apologise only when I am truly sorry.

29. I don’t wear biz suits, tights, or sensible shoes.  I reserve the right to wear embroidered
blue denim jackets, tie die dresses, yoga gear, purple tutus, silver ballet slippers, and
metallic rosy-purple leggings, and cowboy hats.  Just because I wanna, dammit!

30. I hereby banish all “shoulds,” “musts,” “have tos,” and “gottas” from my vocab* and
life.
*I reserve the right to make up words whenever I feel like it!

31. I can complain as loudly as I want, whenever I want, when something angers,
frightens, or just plain hurts me. (sticks out tongue) So there!

32. I am (and my life is) a work in progress. And I’m not “paying my dues” to earn the right to have fun, dammit!

33. I am allowed to cry when I wanna cry, dammit!  Feel fear, anger, embarrassment, etc.
whenever the mood strikes, dammit!  And I won’t apologise to anyone ever again about it, dammit!
As I said above, this list is by no means comprehensive.  It’s a work in progress.  As I progress, it progresses.

It has the supadupa power of helping me be clear.  Very clear.  And set boundaries.  That’s very liberating!  It’s fun to do as well. Everyone could benefit from having a dammit list.
Yay!  I feel liberated already!  Huzzah!

Diggable Comments: Be excellent to each other when sharing your own very vibelicious dammit lists.