the Bend Your Reality Project

photo credit: wakalani

Every once in a while the Universe throws you a curve ball in answer to a question or the internal shout for help.  In my case, it was seeing an Avon commercial on telly in the midnight hours between fitful sleep and wakefulness.  (Go here to read about that).  This was after I expressed my desire to make more money to build my holistic private practice.

Last year I took a guitar lesson from a very nice fellow named Buzz.  He taught me a few chord based soloing techniques in our half hour together.  For a month of lessons, it would have cost me $150.  Which is not over-expensive; however, I had other adventures going on at the time that required my money at that time, so I had to let go of my desire to become a better guitarist for another time.

Enter Blues Guitar Unleashed

Well, that time came on January 10.  I was on my Yahoo! page when I noticed that Jimi Hendrix’s estate had released a new album of his material (Valleys of Neptune).  I clicked to read the news story about it when my eyes caught a link that said you can solo with just four notes!  Preposterous!  Poppycock!  And gobbledygook besides!

I was curious enough to go to the site.  I was introduced to Blues Guitar Unleashed and it’s creator, Griff Hamlin.  The story goes that he created this course with support from his students who felt that they had received such a great benefit from the course and so should others.

When I read this on the course’s sales page, I thought, I am others.  So I purchased the course (about $130), and I have been plugging away with it ever since.

Now most people define personal growth as akin to spiritual shifts.  But I define personal growth as any attitude, belief, and/or action that creates significant and powerful changes in my life; mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

What this course has done for me?

1. I realised that while I am not the guitarist I want to be yet; I am not the worst guitarist in the world (as my mini-me would have me believe).
2. I am uninterested in perfection as a goal. I find trying to be perfect as frustrating as trying to count all the grains of sand on a beach.  Not to mention, being a waste of perfectly good time which I could spend doing worthwhile things like writing songs, writing for my blog, or promoting my Avon business.
3. There’s a reason why they call guitar practice a practice. It means we are supposed to make mistakes and learn from them.  If we were meant to play guitar, sing, dance, write, or live perfectly; it would be called guitar perfect, sing perfect, or writing perfect.
4. I am a success each and every day I turn up and play guitar. Whether I play well or badly, I turn up and see what happens.  And believe me, there are days when my fingers behave as if they are alien to my body.
5. Even when you love something, sometimes it just feels uncomfortable to change and grow. I love playing guitar!  I love learning new comping techniques, chords, new ways of seeing.  However, I do not like  the road nor the view from here to there.  Because that is some of the most discomforting experiences of my life.  An example, when I was learning to read music, I just could not understand how individual chords fit together.  It was rather like reading German without understanding German at all.  Eventually, I rode out the discomfort, and viola, I suddenly understood how chord progressions fit together.  After that I was able to write some songs!  The discomfort was hell!  But the result made it worth it.  Change is sometimes uncomfortable is the point.
   

Now I mention this because I have always wanted to be a better guitarist, but my inner critic wouldn’t allow it.  I had to play as well as Jimi Hendrix (I am a fan!) or I wouldn’t be allowed to play at all.

What sort of reasoning is this?  I asked myself.  How can I expect to be a better guitar player if I never allow myself the joy of mucking it up and starting again.  And mucking it up some more.  Learning some more.  And starting again!

Answer:  I can’t learn anything if I am not allowed to practice.  And practice badly sometimes.

This is how everyone grows!

Engaging the Heart

Part of the growing process for me is opening the doorways and windows of perception so I can see in new and clearer ways.  After all,  I wasn’t going to become a better guitar player as long as I held the attitude that I was just plain bad!  With that belief in operation, I couldn’t get myself to pick up a guitar without my mini-me sneering, ‘Well, you’re never going to get anywhere!  Remember the last time when….’  Such disheartening words always flattened my spirit and disengaged my heart.

As  long as my logic was the only one allowed in the creative sandbox, there was no creativity present.  Just feelings of resentment and longing that depressed me horribly.  Why do this to myself?  Why do this to yourself?

You Are Now Entering the Discomfort Zone

The best way to solve the problem was to forget about any goals of perfection.  And focus on what you can do today to be a master of conscious creation.  Today is where success is defined.  Not tomorrow!

Each and every action you take action  in the direction of  your life vision is a moment, an hour or a day that you can call yourself successful instead of waiting for that magickal day when all your cats, ducks, or what eggs queue up in a row.  Or in a basket.  Or whatever container or lack of container you would prefer to visualise.

It’s a challenge to be imperfect and turn up anyway. Whether it is to a job you love, or learning to scuba dive; you will enter the discomfort zone.  That horrible liminal period where you feel you can’t do anything right and you flop about like a mud-skipper without the mud.  And all of your attempts to get back to that safe, warm, and secure place you once knew will be thwarted by Universal forces who might have a nasty sense of humour.  That’s okay.

The point is:  I don’t expect to do things perfectly anymore.  And neither should you.  Expect to do well.  But no longer do you need to fear that extreme standards for perfection are called for in your quest to become more of the person you intend to be.  I can allow myself to appreciate the small victories scattered like gold coins on the yellow brick road we call personal growth.  Can you?

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

It’s easier to engage your heart if you allow it to speak to you every once in a while.  Logic isn’t always the best way to live your life.  Neither is avoiding discomfort.

Let’s be honest.  How many of us don’t follow our passions, do what we love because we fear discomfort for even a small period of time?  I do.  Maybe you do as well?

Living in the discomfort zone on occasion can bring great rewards.  If you’re going to follow the yellow brick road of doing what you love, periods of chaos, and mucky icky feelings will be companions.  As I have already stated: sometimes change doesn’t always feel good.  Go on anyway.  Let your heart lead this time.

As I follow the yellow brick road to becoming a better guitar player, I listen to my heart more and my head less.  After all, my head is what got me into the frustrating morass of creative constipation in the first place.

Notes from the Discomfort Zone

Learn that the best way to heal creative constipation or learn any new skill  is to do something creative.   Anything creative. Begin it, feel all the icky sticky feelings that come along for the ride. And do it badly, goodly, or in-betweenly.  But give yourself the opportunity to start.  Perfection unnecessary.  Resistance optional. Turning up a big fat yes!

So here’s the question for you: where in your life can you live in your discomfort zone?  What would be the benefits if you did?

That’s all for today.  Sorry,  no clever jokes!

Peace & Healing,

Vibelicious comments:  Be excellent to each other.

Rude, mean comments will be deleted without exception.

Related Posts:

• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• Get Curious About You
• Embracing Your Shadow Self
• The Passion Test
• the Wacky Magickal Power Of Being Yourself

photo credit: WTL photos

Whoa…It’s here.  2010.

If I had been told that 2009 would be a great year for me, I wouldn’t be have been surprised at all.

Okay, I would’ve been a little surprised.  2008 was an okay year for me; 2007 was wildly chaotic and I couldn’t wait to see the end of it.

But…2009 was wild in a good way.

The Good Stuff

1. I got a new job working at a massage therapy clinic.  And left my old job in a chiropractor’s office which was draining me.
2. I moved to Santa Monica, California.  Yay, I always wanted to live here.
3. I became certified by the state of California as a massage therapist.
4. I wrote an e-book (not available yet as I am going through the editing process).
5. I entered the National Novel Writing Contest 2009 (didn’t finish, but I managed to write through the 3oth day).
6. I became a ShivaNaut; I am doing Shiva Nata every day.
7. I became a licensed driver.  Hooray!
8. I began a programme to change through changing my handwriting.   Updates to come.
   
9. I finally got a bed to sleep on instead of a futon, an air mattress, the floor, or my massage table.
10. I started this website!  I post every Tuesday and Friday. Hopefully!
11. I learned how to create a website on the WordPress publishing platform.
12. I began Awakening Level 1 in the Holosync meditation programme.
    
13. I lost weight this year; I am now 8.3 stone (roughly about 116 lbs.)
    

The Bad Stuff

I didn’t leave my last job as gracefully as I would have liked.  Instead of telling him the truth; I was burnt out from working very long hours without lunch or a break.  I wanted to make a clean break from him and step into my new job which I had the option of going full-time.

I had to take money out of my savings in order to afford the move into Santa Monica, California.  So now I have to rebuild my savings.  Not from scratch, but I do have to rebuild it.

I chose to let go of some very painful relationships, including that of a once dear friend.  I chose to let go of these relationships because I had grown away from these friends (and, in some cases, family) and being with people whom I had nothing in common with was painfully toxic.

What I Learned

I learned that mistakes are more than okay.  In fact, they are necessary to growing, expanding, and exploring.

I learned to like myself the way I am.  As I am.

I learned that I am not the grudge-holding, critical, judgmental person my mini-me (my conscious mind) has always told me I was.  I am patient, and it takes me longer to get truly annoyed with people and situations than I thought.

I learned I am more open and flexible than I had once thought possible.

What’s All of This Mean?

Through all the bad parts and good parts,  I changed alot.  I grew alot.  I took alot of risks.  I made alot of mistakes.  I use the word alot, alot. At least right here I do.

The point here is:  I was willing to turn up.  Sometimes the results I desired exceeded my expectations.  Sometimes they didn’t; in which case, I tried a new approach and watched the results.

Now you… what was your 2009 like?  Was it a great year for you?  A bad year?  Either way, what did you learn?

Vibelicious comments:  what did you learn from 2009?

Kind and loving comments appreciated.  Rude, mean comments will be deleted no exceptions!

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photo credit: seanmcgrath

As I was riding the bus this morning, lost in thought, I suddenly remembered a picture I had seen once called Snake Eyes (with Nicolas Cage); it’s the oft-told story of a corrupt cop who has a change of heart once he becomes entangled in a conspiracy to commit murder.

I was reminded that, at the end of the film, Cage’s character’s life into ruin despite the fact that he had chosen to do the right thing.

The correlation I made to my own spiritual journey through life was that, more often than not, when we change even a little bit of ourselves our lives usually will look like a mess to us and to everyone around us.

It’s virtually impossible to keep your reality the same while changing yourself. I have made hundreds of futile attempts to do so. All of them have been in vain. No matter how hard we try, we can’t reach for new possibilities and hold on to what we have for dear life.

So what can we do?

Surrender.

I define surrender as remaining present with your feelings and emotions in the present.  Right where you are now.  It is a process, not a destination.  It’s allowing what going on inside you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually to okay without the need to judge whether your feelings, thoughts, actions are socially appropriate to others.

Is this easy?  Of course not.  Surrendering to the present isn’t easy at all.  Each and every day I choose to work on it.  I never surrender perfectly (if such a thing is possible).  And that isn’t important anyway.

What is important is allowing yourself to feel what you feel in the moment regardless of whether or not you, or others around you, like it.

Once you are able to be where you are when you are, you open yourself up to becoming more mindful; with mindfulness comes the ability to let go of things that no longer work, and move forwards towards things that are good for you.

Here are a few tips for surrendering to the now:

1). Get out in to nature. Being able to opt-out of your current reality for even a few minutes a day could help you de-stress enough to think more clearly.

2). Have fun. Every once in a while, step off the treadmill that is reality, and have some fun.  See a funny film.  Have a giggle with friends.  Do something you enjoy for at least ten minutes a day.

3). Be with people you love. If you are going to spend eight hours plus a day with people you really have no connection with, it’s important to balance that with time spent with people you do have a connection with.

4). Don’t take reality or yourself so seriously. This is a difficult one to do consistently.  I admit that I have challenges with this.  Sometimes I am just too angry or hurt to laugh.  Or sometimes I find myself buying into the illusion that I am a helpless victim of life, and must accept what little I get and be grateful for it.  Such perceptions can be grim indeed.  But remembering that nothing is permanent in this world keeps me from sinking into a morass of self-pity.

With the suggestions above, I can go with the flow more.  Be open.  And allow the Creative Force and time to work with me and for me.  Instead of against me.  I have the freedom to surrender, knowing that tomorrow brings with it the opportunity for new choices, new possibilities that did not exist before.  That is something that both and inspires and motivates me to keep trudging forward even when things appear bleak or scary.

How about you?

What changes have you resisted?  And what occurred when you allowed yourself to surrender and “go with the flow?” How do your reality change afterward?

Feel free to share your insights.

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

Related Posts:

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photo credit: brendan.lally.

I’m always amazed when Halloween comes round.  It seems as if the year has just begun with all its promises and possibility intact.

Yes, I know that the New Year is observed in January.  However, the New Year I am observing is the pagan one.  At this time of the year, I begin looking forward to what new harvests I would like to plant;  at the same time, I begin the liberating, but sometimes uncomfortable, process of uncluttering my life and finishing up old projects.

I always look forward with alot of excitement like a child anticipating all the Christmas gifts s/he will be getting.  So without further ado, here’s my list of the five creative things for the new year.

Sideways, before I give you the list, let me give you my one and only guideline: 1). creative things can be big or small; the only person they have to satisfy is you.

Why 5?  Five seems manageable to me; prevents too much overthinking and hyper-analysing amd free us up to just declare our desires.  And eventually take action towards them.

Okay, moving onward…

My 5  Creative Things List

1). learn to ride a bike.  This has been a subject of shame for me since I was twelve and just couldn’t learn to balance on a bicycle properly.

2). learn to draw.  I would love to draw anything, and expand beyond the limits of the belief that says I can’t draw and can’t ever learn to draw.

3). learn to play blues guitar.  I love music and the blues is the foundation for practically every form of music in the Western world.

4). learn to skateboard.  This one would allow me to get over my fears of physically being hurt, and allow me to embrace my inner daredevil!  Besides, skate boarding is really cool to me.

5). get my first tattoo.  My idea is to get one of the Tibetan Om symbol.  I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but was afraid to get one  due to finances and pain.  But since I am a certified hypnotherapist, I’ve sorted out that I can simply numb the area with hypnosis.

Now you.  What 5 creative things would you be excited to accomplish?

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section below.

Until next time, fellow travelers!

Peace & Healing

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photo credit: inottawa

It occurred to me yesterday after reading a particularly powerful post by Danielle LaPorte at WhiteHotTruth.com (read it here), that I have always been ashamed by how I want to feel about my visions.  I have mucked-up many a wonderful vision with self destructive stories.  Problem was, I believed these stories.

Okay. Pause.

Here’s a story. Yay!

I am a musician, and my greatest dream was to be a rock star with the tour buses, adoring fans, number one songs, the works.  I want fame and fortune.  And I wanted them larger than life.

Why?

Beacause I wanted to feel special.  Celebrities are treated special; they get gifts when they go to the oscars; people queue up ten deep to take their picture; people ask for the autograph; others hang on to their every word.

My first mistake was reading the new age books that implied that wanting to feel special or be treated special meant that I was an unevolved lemming who obviously doesn’t know what’s truly important.  What’s important is that we are all the same on a spiritual level (sayeth the New Age gurus); and, therefore, we should all strive to be equal (the same) on this plane of existence, too. Anyone who sees themselves as special is clearly a negative influence and should be stoned (okay, I’m making up the last part) for furthering the illusion of isolation and separation.

Whew!

So who wants to be a bad person?  Not me!

Back to the present.  Here’s the fire starting questions that began my current healing journey.

Is it wrong to feel a certain way?  If so, says who?  More to the point, how can I begin to be okay with wanting to feel a certain way and see where that takes me?

Is it wrong to want to feel special? I ask myself.  A better question would be: what would make me feel special?

First of all, when I answer that question, what comes to mind is that 1). people who listen to me because I am an expert, 2). I would be centre stage at events and workshops, 3). I’d be paid very well by clients who value what I do, 4). I’d also have the freedom to do what I love without compromise or apology.

I’m tired of feeling guilty for wanting to feel a certain way.  I want to give myself the freedom to embrace these so-called guilty feelings and desires to see where they lead.  I’ve tried the alternative, and it doesn’t work for me.  It may not be easy to follow this path with heart.  However, I know that if I continue on I can expect to heal, expand, and grow.  Perhaps there is a divine reason.

I’m ready.  How about you?

Peace & Healing, fellow travelers!

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I was taking one my many mid day catnaps on my first day off when my eyes caught on a book I have not read in a while.  It’s called The Passion Test by Janet Attwood.

I read the book and took the Passion Test a while ago.  But I have since retaken the survey to see where I am today.

So without further ado, here’s my passions list!
Top 10 11 Passions List

1. Having fun, magick, and adventure in all aspects of my life
2. Exploring, growing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically
3. Participating actively in my self-determination by doing what I want when I want
4. Writing, singing, performing, recording, producing indie soul music
5. Being happily self-employed as a spiritual teacher, holistic health practitioner, transformational speaker, and writer
6. Embracing my strangeness completely
7. Being an enlightened multimillionaire
8. Helping people embrace their originality and live the life of their dreams
9. Writing fantasy novels for young adults
10. Speaking inspirational, transformational and spiritual subjects to individuals and large groups
11. Learning and teaching new things to myself and others
12. Maintaining my sense of inner peace

What’s the difference between a passion and a goal?  Janet Attwood, author of the Passion Test, defines a passion this way: “A passion is how you choose to live your life.”  While a goal is ” something you aim to achieve.”  For example, a passion could be “being a multimillionaire.”  But a goal would be “making $5 million in three years.”

I would add that a passion comes from your spirit which is unique, full of energy, and is what you love.  A goal is created by your mind.  Ideally a goal aligns with your deepest passions instead of vice versa.

See the difference?

No?

Okay.  Passions are about progress.  Goals about outcomes.

Clarity about your passions allows you to create goals that will help you create the life you love.  Goals are valuable, but it is  ideal to find out what your passions are first.  Then explore the goals that would best align with them.

What are your passions?  How do you choose to live your life?

If you would like to get clarity about your passions, read or take  the Passion Test. Could change the way you see yourself in relation to the world.

Alright, that’s it for today, fellow travelers!

Peace & Healing All

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• 5 Creative Things for the New Year
• the Wacky Magickal Power Of Being Yourself
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Start Developing the New You

What do you do when the new self and the old self are not coexisting well?  Do you build a bridge between the old you and the new you?  Or do you tell yourself to be realistic. stop deluding yourself, and put your nose back to that dirty, smelly old grindstone?

None of the above.

Let me give an example.  Say, for instance, that you are currently working as a receptionist, and you desire to be an intuitive consultant full time.  What do you do?

Obviously, bridging the gap between the two would prove difficult though not impossible.  I mean, do you become an intuitive consultant/receptionist dispensing intuitive bon mots during coffee-getting excursions?

You could do that.  But more than likely, in worker bee/drone-land,  you might find yourself reprimanded formally by management for inappropriate behaviour. Or something absurd like that.

Next option?

Live In Paradox

I learned this from Steve Pavlina.

By this I mean, fellow travelers, that you allow both the new and old you to exist side by side for a while.  You keep your receptionist job with all of its exciting coffee-getting, paper copying and faxing duties.  Yet at the same time you take courageous action towards the new you.

For example, you might offer free intuitive consultations to your open-minded and willing friends and family.  This allows you to build skill and confidence in your new endeavour.  You don’t have to do everything perfectly, mind you.  But you do have to begin now.

Introduce your new vision of you into your life in small ways on a daily basis (if possible).

Remember to live passionately.  Don’t die with your music still in you!

That’s all for me today, fellow travelers.

See you on the Flippy-flop!

Peace & Healing

Related Posts:

• the Blessing of Uniqueness
• The Passion Test
• Engage Your Heart ~ Live In Your Discomfort Zone
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